13 Reddit moms share what they wish they had known before their newborn arrived.
Listen to these mothers, they've seen it all!
The post was started by SpiceyStew on the popular Reddit subreddit, Mommit:
I'm having my first baby in July (a little girl), and I was wondering if there was any advice and or products you wish you knew about before having your baby, I don't have any mum friends or my own mum around so I've found this group and a couple others very helpful :) any advice is appreciated!, thank you !!
1. Sleep Noises
I wish I knew what noisy sleepers they are when they are very little. It's shocking. 😆
Yes! My God. The grunts. Mouth noises. Snores. Gurgles. I never really worried they weren't breathing. Lol
We gave our son a WWE style nickname bc it reminded us of the sound of wrestlers hitting the mat/stage
2. Breastfeeding Struggles
Breastfeeding is very hard and doesn’t come naturally to you or your baby so put on your patience pants!
This! Cluster feeding (feeding several times on demand in an hour) is the way your LO will likely communicate directly with your breasts to tell them to increase supply.
It’s a natural and important process that shouldn’t be interrupted by formula as long as your baby isn’t dehydrated (as you can tell by counting wet diapers) and your pediatrician hasn’t identified a longer term problem with your LOs weight.
It’s also agonizing as a new parent, as your LO will keep crying in hunger and your nipples may be tender early on. Understanding what is happening and why will help with what may be some of your hardest moments in the first few days after birth.
This. Stock up on lots of snacks you can eat with one hand and some form of bottle with a straw to keep hydrated through the multiple cluster feeds!
3. Get Practical Clothes!
Reverse zipper onesies/double zipper onesies are THE BEST! You can just zip up to the waist when you change them. Also double zipper swaddles. We use a combo for our girl and its the best.
4. They Have to Poop...A LOT
My baby pooped 8-15 times a day for the first 3 months. Sometimes it was 18.
My kid also poops a lot! At 16 months we are still a 3-4 times a day household here. Just how her little body works I guess.
My eldest pooped after every boob. Every. Boob. From the time she was born until she got solids added to her diet. Then it was about twice a day. My youngest on the other hand poops like once a day. Unless she has yogurt and then she will poop like 5 times in a day lol.
5. Stick to the Basics
You don’t need half the sh*t that’s on those ‘baby must have’ lists.Babies need diapers, milk/formula, and that’s basically it. Everything else you can get by without. If you decide that you do need some of those things, you can always get them after the baby is born.
Holy yes. I obsessed over how under prepared I was, because I only had 3 bases covered: Travel, excrement/urine, and sleep. Turns out that's about it until month 4 or so. you have TIME to figure out what you need. They do literally nothing else the first few months.
I wish I’d read this before I had my baby (currently 10 weeks). We literally spent the first month of her life naked (except for diapers) in bed together.
I hated dressing her - she cried every time she was set down on her back so just doing her diapers was stressful enough! We have since abandoned all clothes for her that aren’t zippered onesies now.
6. The Hands-On Approach
Literally just how to hold a baby. My newborn was my first time holding a newborn. By second baby I learned exactly how much pressure, how to snuggle and melt with babies. I was so rigid and nervous with my first as a newborn.
7. If You Have a Partner, Make a Plan
I haven’t seen this yet so I’ll add that you need to set a plan with your partner. I wish we could’ve discussed our expectations beforehand because it was really hard not to be mean when I had to ask him to take out the trash (he would start piling it up) while sleep deprived.
I don’t know your situation but would encourage you to discuss the things that you would like help with before hand, whether it’s grocery shopping, laundry, or even just restocking the TP( my SO expects the TP fairies to do this to this day.)
Yes, figure out a plan beforehand for sharing duties, but be prepared to change on the fly based on baby’s habits changing or figuring each of your strengths/weaknesses.
8. Prepare for Flashbacks
How much having your own child makes you reflect on your own upbringing. For me it makes me understand and appreciate many of the choices my parents made. Unfortunately for my husband he is facing a lot of pain related to his childhood.
9. Babies are Audiophiles
One thing I’m so so so grateful for though is a white noise machine. ALSO The Happy Song by Imogen Heap. He has never cried through that song.
Swaddle a baby and play white noise.
White noise. A Hoover will be your best friend or any white noise machine. I went through 8 weeks of a rough witching hour from 5 pm to 1 am screeching until I figured out white noise. I felt stupid for not knowing but hey you learn and move on 😂
10. It's Okay to Feel How You Feel
Postpartum anxiety, depression, and psychosis are insanely intense if you're one of the women impacted by them. And most women are. They aren't usually taken seriously enough by doctors either unfortunately.
You might bounce back right after birth and feel completely like yourself or you might look in the mirror and not even recognize the person staring back at you. I’ve had both situations and all I can say is give time (like multiple months) and you’ll slowly feel like yourself again.
You don’t have to rush it or feel guilty about it if you aren’t interested in the things you used to be or have no mental energy for “self care.” Yes keep up with hygiene but don’t feel guilty if you aren’t up for meditative yoga at the moment.
11. Beats by Mom
Ear plugs for colicky babies. They can’t help but cry. They need to be patted and moved. That doesn’t mean you need to hear every decibel of it.
Earplugs or noise cancelng earbuds/headphones are so helpful when dealing with witching hour and/or colic.
12. Little Fart Angels
They need help to fart in the early days! Our LO had terrible gas pains and she would cry and cry and I felt terrible. We found gas drops plus LOTS of bicycles/knees to chest movements helped relieve her. They really are helpless little potato’s for the first 12 weeks or so and have no autonomy over the gasses that need to come out of both ends 😅
I wish I would have known how much babies can struggle to poop. It looks like they’re trying so hard and then sometimes they go a few days or even longer without having a poo. I felt so bad for my baby and thought something was wrong but was told it’s normal and eventually everything turned regular!
13. Trust Your Instincts
Find what works for your baby and stick with it. Follow your babies cues for things like hunger and sleep. Don’t try to force a hard and fast schedule on your baby, but routines are great. If you are feeling overwhelmed it is ok to set your baby down, walk away, collect yourself, before tending to your baby again. This will not make you a bad mother.
Social media is fake. Do not compare yourself or your baby to anything you see on social media. Because it is all fake. If you need help, ask for it. Do not ever feel guilty for asking for help.
Babies are born with their own personalities and you've just got to go with their flow. I thought it was mostly nurture and a hint of nature prior to having a baby and now I feel it is quite the opposite.
Also, don't ever say 'I will never...' Don't jinx yourself and don't try to be perfect. We're all doing our best.