It's tough to be a stepmom, and no one really talks about that. That said, these 10 women took to the internet to speak up about their EXTREMELY taboo feelings about being a stepmom. Take a look...
1. This stepmom feels like her SO loves his daughters more than he'll ever love her.
cementmilkshakes writes:
The issues that I have been having make me feel sick to my stomach though because I’m horribly ashamed of myself for my feelings. When his 4yo daughter stayed with us for a week I was extremely depressed and didn’t want to get out of bed.
We went from spending every day together and giving each other attention all day every day, to me getting 0 attention because his daughter is all over him constantly.
He doesn’t get to see the younger one as often bc of a bad relationship with her mother, so when he does see his daughter he just wants to hold her all day long and reply to every single thing she says. It’s very sweet that he’s such a loving dad, but I feel like a third wheel when he has his girls.
What hurts me the most (which I realize is stupid) is that he will never feel for me what I feel with him. We could have the best day ever together and I ask him how his day was and he will reply that he doesn’t feel whole without his daughters with him.
2. This stepmom wants to get divorced because her stepdaughter hates her so much.
HealthyFlamingo456 writes:
I’ll keep this quick, my husband and I have been together for over five years and we have been married for four of those years. He has two grown children from another marriage, both daughters.
He got his girlfriend knocked up with twins at 16. One of those daughters hates me relentlessly. It doesn’t matter what I do to try and improve the relationship, she is dead set on creating problems between us in our marriage and making my life miserable.
Our marriage is really good outside of his daughter but he allows problems to manifest and isolates me whenever I try to address issues with her. I know that this is only going to get worse especially when we have children.
Is it too premature to be considering divorce? I just turned 30, he’s 40, and I’m pretty scared that I’m going to waste these years married to him…
3. This stepmom feels like her husband's shared custody of his daughter gets in the way of physical intimacy with her husband.
MarriedtoanEXJW confesses:
My husband and I have his daughter 50/50, and during that time I find it hard to be intimate. SD is 11 and goes to bed at 10. I think this is pretty reasonable, but it is almost too late for sex for me.
I also need a little attention from my husband before we are intimate, and that is hard to juggle with the time we spend with SD. We usually make her night time snack at nine and play a game or watch a show until it’s time for her to go to bed. But even if I could stay up til 2300, it is still kind of late.
She is usually with her mother after school on Mondays so then we try to take the chance to be intimate. But she never has a baby sitter, never spends the night at a friends house, rarely stays over at friends at all (they come here) and intimacy is usually something that mostly happens when she is not here.
I miss the intimacy and I am sure my husband would like more sex. What should I do?
4. This stepmom feels like her stepdaughter's birth mother is trying to turn her SD against her.
I know it shouldn’t bother me, because I know I raise my SD (4) in a wonderfully loved way, but when BM makes posts painting us to be the bad guy, I can’t help but feel dismayed 😭
She claims we’re using her daughter, my SD, as a pawn! And that we’re keeping them from each other. This is why I PREACH documentation to everybody. We have so much of it showing how she disregards all the extra time we have offered n the past.
It just hurts, and it shouldn’t 😭 This precious girl deserves so much more and I just wish I could give it to her 🥺Thanks for listening guys ❤️
5. This stepmom is PAINFULLY jealous of her husband's first wife.
Timeneighborhood8690 confesses:
Here’s the thing… I am unbelievably jealous and insecure about his ex wife. She’s rich, thin and beautiful. She’s a wannabe Kardashian and I am literally the opposite. You wonder why the first marriage didn’t work?
Now here me out- I have a great job, I’m 10 years younger, I’m not bad looking and I’m a generally pretty freaking happy person. But I cannot stand this woman and there is not one goddamn reason for me not to.
She goes out of her way to tell my husband to invite me to school things, birthday parties for the kids at her house, and things like that. I have no contact with her, because there really hasn’t been a need to. Like I said, things are civil enough.
How do I stop feeling extreme jealousy towards her? I’m honestly not even sure what I’m jealous of! My husband treats me like I’m a freaking goddess and I know he doesn’t have any old feelings for her so what the hell is the matter with me?!?
6. This stepmother thinks her kindergarten step kid is a 'manipulative narcissist.'
Formerad87 confesses:
My step kid is in kindergarten, and over the past 3 years definitely displayed behaviors that lined up with manipulation, but my husband and I were coached to believe this was just the kid learning and pushing boundaries.
The past few months, though, the kid has been lying (about everything. Even simple questions like “are you hungry?”), extremely rude to family members and close friends, ignoring direction given by any adult (us, grandparents, his teachers, etc…)
This child negates every direction given to him (our your iPad away “but I only have this many more minutes…”) and has learned just what pleases my husband to his core in order to make up for these behaviors. I hate it.
7. This stepmom feels like her step kid's birth mom is copying her every move...
jimbimbobaggines2008 confesses:
Is it weird to have the BM copy my husband and me?
My husband and I bought an amazing mid-century modern home and remodeled it. A year later, the BM bought one that is a smaller version of ours. After she purchased the house, based on images I've seen, her entire 'decor' seems to remind me of our house--right down to our sunroom with plants everywhere.
Then, she got the same car/SUV my husband had/has. I adopted a dog found off the street that was close to death from a person on facebook, and now she has adopted a dog found on the street.
8. This stepmom feels like her husband doesn't see her as a real member of the family.
verydeepblue writes:
Just like it says- I received a bag for Christmas from his family. Without talking to me he gave it to one of his daughters because he doesn’t think I use it enough. He’s acting like I don’t have a right to be upset and that he did nothing wrong. There is apparently something wrong with me because I’m upset about making a sacrifice for his daughter. I feel like he hates me.
9. This stepmom is jealous of her SD's birth mom, who basically did nothing to raise her.
alarmeddecision1226 writes:
I was there for my stepdaughter when she started her period, when her first boyfriend broke up with her, every tift she had with a friend or even her father.
I buy her school supplies, clothes, gifts, take her out for activities, pick and drop off for sports, etc. SD is very grateful, kind to me, she has done nothing wrong, but it physically hurts when I hear her talking and giggling with her mom on the phone.
That woman does nothing for her and refuses to even come visit her but all because she got knocked up, she will always be mom.
10. This stepmom says that she and her 13 year old stepdaughter hate each other.
educationalgarage570 confesses:
My SD (13) is rude to me. She talks down to me when she’s here, she blatantly breaks house rules (inevitably leaving more work for me to clean up whatever she left behind), and tells her mother lies about my character.
She had threatened to commit sui*ide if she had to spend 1 night at this house and around me (custody is supposed to be 50/50). She and her mother have said that I am abusive (but can’t say exactly what it is about me that’s abusive) and have told her father he is choosing an abuser (I’m not, in any way) over the daughter.
My partner says I’m misinterpreting her actions all wrong. He says she only does those things bc she’s mentally ill and deathly terrified of me, for some reason.
He had told me I need to keep this in mind when she’s here; she’s intimidated by you, so treat her how you would want someone you’re intimidated by to treat you. I don’t know how to do that. For the last 3 years, she has only acted in ways that have shown me that she is rude, entitled, and very manipulative.
Im struggling with how I should respond to her when she’s forced to come here and, what I perceive as, her overt rudeness to me. How I’ve been handling it is that I try to avoid her at all costs (which is easy for me to do, seeing as she can’t even so much as say hi to me when she comes in the door).
This is only making me more distant from her and from my partner. I need advice....