Mom asks, 'AITA for letting my 5yo make her own mistakes?' Husband says, 'yes.'
'AITA for letting my 5 year old make her own mistakes?'
I was getting my daughter (5) ready for school yesterday and she insisted on wearing a sweater with no shirt under it and full length pants. I told her it was going to be hot (80 degrees and sunny) and she plays outside with little shade all morning but nothing swayed her so I let her wear it to school.
She ended up getting slightly overheated and they changed her into a loaner dress. The kids know the loaner clothes are usually for accidents so her friends were asking if she had an accident and one boy teased her about it. She was pretty embarrassed by the time I picked her up.
My husband is mad that I let her wear the sweater because she could’ve gotten heat stroke and was teased due to the results of her outfit choices but now she knows to dress appropriately for the weather. If I had made her change into a tee shirt and shorts, she would’ve tried the same thing today.
He still thinks we should be teaching her but I think she’s old enough to be making some of her own mistakes. The consequences of this were fairly minor and she learned how to dress but my husband still thinks I’m in the wrong. AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
GWeb1920 writes:
NAH. I think at 5 it’s a reasonable discussion to have with your partner on if she is ready to learn consequences.
I would have asked her if she wanted to pack some clothes to change into just in case and hopefully she would. And then if she was still not listening I would have said well I will put something in just in case and then if she through that out I would let her go.
I think the challenge at 5 is are they able to understand the future or are they limited in comprehension to it’s not hot out now. So while not how I would have handled it I don’t think it was out of line
Did your daughter learn anything from the experience? A day or two later I’d follow up to see if there was learning. If not it’s probably to early for this type of parenting.
sweatermistake OP responded:
She chose a tank top and shorts today so I’d say she learned.
Sniffer_Bear93 writes:
YTA. I think 5 years old is far too young for that kind of authority in their own hands. If she was 13, go for it. But 5 years old.. sorry, but that just seems lazy to me.
sweatermistake OP responded:
I’m raising her to be independent. At 5 years old she picks her clothes, gets dressed, makes her own breakfast, does her hair, and packs her backpack all on her own. I don’t think 5 is too early for these kinds of lessons.
Solrackai writes:
YTA, don't let you 5 year old make the kinds of mistakes that can end them up in the hospital.
sweatermistake OP responded:
I know her teacher would’ve intervened before it got to that.
kewpiev wrote:
As a daycare worker YTA. we have better things to do than to find replacement clothing for your child because you refuse to have a back bone and make her change.
Boredthumbs42 writes:
I would have said “ok, wear the sweater but let’s send along a shirt in your bag in case you do get too hot.” Problem solved. Kid learns.
Correct_Salamander11 writes:
This. Drove my daughter crazy for a while, but she has learned: 'It's better to have and not need than to need and not have.'
nojudgey12 writes:
NTA. I totally agree with letting Them learn from mistakes. I have 5 and as soon as they are old enough to start knowing what a decision even is, they need to learn how to make the right one age appropriate ones of course, with the right advice from parents first. Like you said, you told her it'd be hot, she still insisted, so she learned why you said no in the first place.
go_play_in_the_sun responded:
Please stop breeding.