Aunt 'doses' nephews with cough syrup behind Mom's back. 'They haven't coughed once'.
Different parents parent VERY differently, even if they're in the same family. So what happens when you treat other children like you would your own?
Turns out, a lot of drama. A pissed off mother came to Reddit to ask if she handled a situation correctly.
'AITA for telling SIL she will never see my kids again (over cough syrup)?'
Fit-Assignment-6760 writes:
Basically, my SIL asked to take me and my husband's kids for the long weekend because it was her daughter's birthday party and they were doing a memorial day celebration as well. We said that was fine.
Dropped the kids off on Friday and came back on Monday at 9am to grab them. I called periodically throughout the day to check in on them and was never told anything was out of the ordinary.
Well, we got there to pick the kids up at 9am and our two sons were still sleeping, which is not normal (they are super early risers and always have been- even when going to bed late). SIL makes the comment of 'oh, it's probably because of the cough syrup'.
I asked what she meant and she tells me that apparently she gave both my sons an entire cap full of cough syrup the night before because they weren't feeling well and started developing a slight cough (my youngest, 6, has asthma and had his inhaler with him).
Not only that but this 'entire cap full' of cough syrup she gave them was Adults Extra Strength Delsym PM. My son's are 6 and 11. I absolutely lost my sh*t.
She explains:
An entire cap full of this adult strength delysum is 30mls. My 6yos dose of CHILDRENS Tylenol is only 7.5, per his weight class. That means she gave a dosage 4x too high, in an adult strength medication.
I told my husband to get the kids packed up immediately and went off on my SIL for intentionally giving my son's a very high dose of adults extra strength cough syrup when she knows for a fact we do NOT use cough syrup.
My mother is a doctor and has told me doctors advise against it due to it being a cough suppressor and being unable to push out the phlegm- which can lead to pneumonia.
Not only that but she didn't even tell me prior to giving it. So I said she would never ever see my kids again and we left. She was crying when we took off.
I'm being told by multiple people that I overreacted because my boys are fine. I fail to see how that makes this better. AITA (Am I the a-hole)?
OP then clarified:
ETA: it's been made clear multiple times in the past that we don't give our kids cough syrup. She has argued with us about it several times because she gives her kid every medication known to man and we don't.
She knew what she was doing and she knew we wouldn't be okay with it. She made comments of 'they are perfectly fine, I told you it was safe' bullshit when I was flipping out on her. Zero remorse.
So, what did Reddit have to say?
MelodyRaine comments:
NTA (Not the a-hole) she didn't say a word to you about their developing coughs and dosed them with full strength adult cough syrup. She dosed a six year old with adult strength cough syrup that has a sleeping aid mixed in... Not overreacting.
Specific-Succotash-8 suspects:
NTA. I don’t think they were coughing, I think they were rambunctious and she wanted them to sleep. I hope I’m wrong about that.
OP responds:
I suspect the same because they haven't coughed once since we got them.
Foucault_donttouchme sees it a little differently:
ESH (Everyone sucks here). She did wrong on giving them syrup without asking you and while probably knowing you would be against it, also she did wrong on the dosing, she was dumb and ignored some boundaries.
But you still overreacted in a dramatic way, why not make clear what was wrong and that this shouldnt happen again? Completely cutting off contact from your kids because of that is too much.
Diogenesislost writes:
I will give a cautious YTA (you're the a-hole) because she did what she does for her own, and you never told her not to. When people do things that are commonly considered ok, unless you told them not too, I don’t believe you should go off as extremely as this. Having said that, she needs to learn to read bottles better. Proper dosing is important.
From OP:
She knows we don't use cough syrup so yes, she did know we would say no. She did it anyways.
AdOne8433 says:
She drugged your children to knock them out. I wonder how often she drugs her own child. Doesn't matter who she is to you, she absolutely cannot be trusted with children. This is in no way negotiable.
She may promise never to do it again, but there are so many decisions to make when caring for children. You cannot trust her to make the most obvious child safety calls. So you MUST make the safety call to protect your kids from incompetent care.
OP replies:
Her daughter is on so many different medications at one time that I'm starting to question which ones she is actually supposed to be on, versus what's just given to her at random.
What would you do?
It's clear that the sister in law should absolutely NOT have done that, but is keeping their kids away forever an overreaction?