Bride insists on having FOUR WEDDINGS. Gets called 'spoiled' and 'selfish'. AITA?
When this bride feels guilty about her wedding(s), she asks Reddit:
"AITA for having 4 weddings?"
I, 30sF, met my now husband, 30sM, while studying in Europe. We are both African but from 2 different countries. He proposed 18 months ago.
While wedding planning, we realised what a logistical nightmare it would be to have everyone we want there in one place. After much consideration, we decided to have a ceremony in all of places most important to us: my country, his country and the country we live in.
The first stop was in my country, where we had first a marriage ceremony as my parent's homestead then a European style white wedding. It was large affair as my parents went all out on the wedding and invited lots of people.
Next was in my husband's country and it was oh so beautiful. His mum had a traditional bridal gown made for me and I felt so loved and welcomed by his family.
It was another big celebration as his parents did the same thing as mine.
Finally we returned to Europe where we had a small ceremony with about 60 people. It was by far the most lowkey but still a nice ceremony.
We self funded this one and our parents paid for the ones in their respective countries. We had a 2 week holiday before coming back to start new jobs. It all lasted 8 weeks from start to finish. The only consistent guests were our immediate nuclear families as we didn't want to put anyone out.
We made 1 instagram post captioned 'What's better than 1 wedding?' (a music reference) with 10 pictures from across our ceremonies and 1 from our honeymoon.
I had a catch up with my friend on return and found she'd gotten engaged while we were back home.
I congratulated her and was happy for her, asking if she had started planning the wedding. She said yes, but money was tight and she's had to do it on a budget. She asked for my support given the summer I'd just had and asked me to be in her bridal party. I said of course, and I'd help her plan a great wedding that won't break the bank.
I've been sending her messages of pinterests and tiktoks I see of budget friendly ideas for her wedding. She's been blue ticking me for a while, so I asked if everything was okay.
I got a massively long paragraph telling me I'm a bad person. I had 4 weddings where she can barely afford one. I'm sending her tacky DIY things when I had a classy ceremony. I did not offer to help her pay for her wedding when I can clearly afford 4 weddings and a honeymoon.
I'm a bad friend for even letting her get to this point. I am spoiled and privileged and so ungrateful. I left her on read for a day because if I'd responded straight away I'd have cursed her of her name.
She sends me aggressive ?????? texts, asking if I have nothing to say which is comical given she'd been leaving me on read for ages. I replied and said you're clearly dealing with something right now. I'm going to give you space to face your demons. Come back to me when you're ready to be an adult and have a rational conversation.
She said I was condescending and unfeeling. I blocked her to maintain my peace. AITA?
Let's see what users thought.
sikeerhit writes:
NTA - you can have as many weddings as you want. Have five weddings. Have twenty. You're allowed to use your money to have fun with your husband and your family.
It'd be different if your close friend was starving because of extreme poverty and you weren't helping her in any way, but an extravagant party is not a necessity and it's incredibly entitled of her to expect that from you.
dolwanttoknow4 writes:
She saw your weddings and only wanted you in the bridal party to try and convince you to pay her a lavish wedding.
You ONLY paid for your last, low key, wedding. So, does your"friend" want your parents and INLAWS to pay for HER wedding? She needs a reality check. Any way, she showed her true colours. You were totally right to block that person. NTA.