Dad breaks down teenage son's door to take his phone away. AITA?
When this dad feels like he may have been too harsh, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for breaking down my son's door?'
This happened last week at my cousin's house. My family is kinda split on who's right or wrong here. Names changed for the story. This is POV my aunt. We were having a family BBQ for the 4th of July. I had a bake ziti in the oven and my son (13m), Mark, was sitting in the kitchen scrolling on his phone.
\I asked him to take the ziti out when the oven beeps cuz a guest was lost so I had to stand out front to wait for them. When they arrived we chat for a while out front before heading inside.
When we went in something smelled burnt. I check the kitchen and Mark isn't in there but the pasta is burnt. Not too badly but the bottom layer was crunchy and burnt. Mark came out from the bathroom with his phone in his hand. I assume he was in the bathroom playing on his phone.
He claims he didn't hear the oven beep but if he wasn't in the bathroom playing on his phone for so long he would've heard it and it wouldn't have been burnt.
I ask for his phone and tell him to go up to his bedroom and I'd come get him when he can have his phone back. He turns and runs upstairs with his phone. I call out for him to bring his phone back and he ignores me. I excuse myself and tell our guests to wait in the living room or out back with the rest of the party.
I follow him upstairs and knock on his door. No answer. I try to open it but he has it locked. 'Mark, I'm gunna take your phone for the whole night if you don't give it to me right now.' Still no answer but I hear him muttering to himself. 'MARK!?' I knock on his door louder.
I hear his playstation turn on and that made me so mad I started kicking his door til the lock broke open. He had his headset on like he was about to play videogames . I turn his TV off and demand his phone.
He shouts about his broken door but I don't care. I make him hand over his phone and his playstation controllers. Now he has no phone or games or lock on the door til I say so.
So Reddit, AITA for breaking down my son's door?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
catsmeow writes:
You say this happened at your cousin's house, which suggests for whatever reason you're staying with family, which makes you even worse for breaking down a door in a home you don't own. But even without that, YTA.
sheramom0 writes:
YTA. Okay, the kid messed up (or he had to go to the bathroom) and you went nuclear in front of guests. All while you admittingly not only waited for the guest out front, but chatted for awhile. It was slightly burnt food, not an actual emergency or even a crisis. Run to the store is you need something else and move on and enjoy your day.
Breaking down the door is really just the end of an already uncomfortable situation for your guests. You could have waited to discipline or punish your child although the fact that you feel comfortable breaking down a door in front of guests does lead to questions of what you do when you don't have guests.
dipdenny writes:
YTA. Obviously your kid was misbehaving, however your behavior in response was categoricallyworse. There are so many other ways to deal with the situation which are not physical damage to your home and that is really intimidating to everyone around you FYI.
Your kid also deserves the basic privacy of being able to lock his door- this isn't a life or death situation c'mon..