Dad gets daughter out of detention early; mom angry she's 'rewarded' for bad behavior.

Agreeing on how to parent is one of the most important and difficult parts of raising a kid with someone. Even when you agree on basic life values and philosophies, situations are bound to crop up along the way that challenge your perspectives. Finding a way to remain honest with each other while presenting a united front can sometimes feel impossible.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for getting his daughter out of detention early. He wrote:

"AITA for “rewarding” my daughter’s smart-a$$ behavior?"

I (M38) work from home, while my wife works as an ER nurse. So when it comes to things like getting phone calls from our kid's school I'm usually the one who deals with them. Today I got a call from our oldest daughter’s “Kay” (13) school. They said something about there being issues with a dentition Kay got and I need to come down to the school.

I got to Kay’s school to find Kay, her principal, and vice principal all in the Principal’s office. Last Monday Kay got a detention for being late to class. As her school works, they give you a week to serve your detention and if you don't you get ISS (in-school suspension ).

They went to get my daughter for ISS and my daughter refused to get up telling them if they made her go to ISS that's double jeopardy since she already severed detention and that she should be allowed to use her rights to the 5th amendment…pretty bold for an 8th grader to say. I asked if they could check to see if she served it since I do remember having to pick Kay up late so she could go to detention.

Well turns out Kay did serve that detention. After looking through video cameras the teacher that day just accidently didn't mark her off. After being there for a while it was almost afternoon I decided to just say I was going to pick Kay up for a dentist appointment anyway and just get her out of school early. Kay and I just went out to lunch and then home.

My wife worked an 8-hour shift yesterday so she got off at 2 Kay gets done with school at 3 so she was surprised to see Kay at home. I explained what happened and how I just decided to bring her home early while I was there.

The wife got mad at Kay making her go to her room for being disrespectful and a smart a$$. She then got mad and yelled at me calling me a AH for rewarding Kay for acting like a smart a$$.

I'll admit Kay was a smart a$$ but she was using stuff she learned in school against them…usually, she's a good kid and gets great grades so I seriously don't see a problem with it but my wife still won't talk to me AITA?

The internet had plenty to say.

blanketstatement5 wrote:

NTA. She did the punishment she was supposed to do, school made a clerical error and she simply called them on it.

Silent_Leg1976 wrote:

NTA. Your kid served their suspension, the school said she didn’t. She has every right to fight it and good for you for sticking up for her. As someone who works in a school - a moment to bond with your parent like that is something that is important. She’ll remember today for a long time.

Kitchen_Zebra222 wrote:

NTA. She stood up for herself by using the information she learned at school. Was it slightly smart-a$$ed? Yes, but most 8th graders tend to be smart-a$$ed at least half the time. At least it was that way back in the dark ages when I was in school.

Taking your kid home early was no big deal, it doesn't look like it's an all-the-time thing. Perhaps the teacher should have detention for not marking a student as doing a detention. Kidding. Teachers can make mistakes.

Classic_Secretary460 wrote:

NTA—she’s not being a smarta$$, she’s standing up for herself, and you are right to encourage that. You need to talk to your wife about what she expected, why she is upset, and what she would have wanted to have happen. I wonder if there is something more at work in her mind than is immediately apparent.

Adlehyde wrote:

NTA. In fact, I'd be proud of my daughter if she stood up for herself like that instead of just accepting unjust punishment, even if it was a bit of a smarta$$ way to go about it, it was effective. Your wife though, punishing your daughter for not being an obedient servant who willingly accepts being punished unjustly, just had a bad mom moment and owes your daughter an apology.

One she's unlikely to be willing to give because she sounds stubborn. As for taking her home for the day, it was probably for the best, and not necessarily a reward. The staff would likely be peeved about the situation for the rest of the day, and it's just better to let everyone at school sleep it off, then back to business as usual the next day.

Vegitas_Fist wrote:

YTA for letting your wife punish your daughter for being 100% right. Stand up for your kid, even if its against her mom or some crackp0t teacher who can't keep attendance straight. If you're right, you're right. Being a teen doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. She did absolutely nothing wrong.

Are you trying to raise an independent adult or some mindless sheep who let's people walk all over them? Pur your pants on and stop letting her get bullied when she's not the one screwing up. Your wife is completely out of line.

OP is definitely NTA, his wife - however, could use a wake-up call.