Dad hacks into daughter's laptop after she disappears on Mother's Day. AITA?
"AITA for 'cracking in' to my daughter's laptop after she lied to us?"
My daughter, 'Cassandra' (22F), works at a grocery store close to our home. It closes at 11pm, and if she's closing that night, it means she can get home around midnight.
The other night, she went to work and we expected her back by midnight. Cue to my wife (Cassandra's step-mom who raised her since she was 11) and I waking up at 1 a.m. in a panic because we realized she wasn't back yet.
We called her and asked where she was; she said she was at her job. I (49M) went to the store and didn't see her car in the parking lot at all. Even drove around the back to make sure. In other words, she was lying.
She came home, we asked where she was, she lied again. My wife and I were furious, and to be honest, we kicked her out right then, but we later drove around the block, found her walking down the street, drove her back home, and told her she has a choice: we can all talk this out in the morning, or she can pack her bags.
We had an event to go to as a family first thing in the morning, but when we got back home, instead of talking, she packed her things and left, without an explanation. Keep in mind she pulled this on Mother's Day, and we haven't heard from her since.
Of course, my wife and I are left with absolutely no answers. She took her phone with her, but left her laptop behind (anything we bought we told her to leave it behind). Because we're left reeling and confused, we guessed the password to her laptop and saw the confirmation of our suspicions: s&^ally explicit messages between her and some guy.
Of which, our other daughter (11F) said it was 'unfair' we broke into her laptop. I understand my daughter's young and doesn't understand all that's going on, and still feels tied to her half-sister, but as I see it, we bought the laptop and it's very unfair to us to withstand lies from someone who's being allowed to live her rent-free. AITA in any way?
Let's see what readers thought.
mathweight7 writes:n
YTA. What’s the goal here? On some level you must realize that this level of controlling behavior will estrange you from your children.
rich398 writes:
YTA - I am surprised you even have to ask. You can, of course, do what you want in terms of offering or not offering housing to an adult, but you have no right to hack into her computer and frankly, you are way overboard on trying to spend your time tracking down what she is doing. I am sure she was adulting. That is allowed for an adult.
kasparian writes:
YTA. Like mind bogglingly the assholes. She’s 22. Her sex life and her personal life are only your business if she chooses to share it. She left for a reason, and it’s too bad she forgot the laptop.
You both need to go sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done. If you think it’s perfectly appropriate to treat your full adult daughter like a child, I’m going to do the same on you. Time out for both of you assholes.