'AITA for threatening to kick my son out if he buys a $35,000 truck?'
"AITA for threatening to kick my son out if he buys a $35,000 truck?"
My (42m) son (19m) wants to buy a $35,000 truck. He dropped out of high school, against my advice, at the earliest possible moment of 16. Since then, he has been constantly making up all these dumb schemes to make money.
For example, he bought a broken old saw mill $500 and got it working and supposedly has been selling the lumber for the past few years.
Well, the POS truck he uses to get his gear up old dirt back roads has finally broken beyond repair, and now he wants to get some expensive brand new Toyota pick-up truck. I don't know what he wants to get exactly, and I don't care. All I know is that it's a terrible financial decision, and I'm tired of these antics of his and that he needs to get a real job or go to college.
So I told him if he buys that truck, it's going to be the last straw for me. If he buys it, I'm kicking him out. I went as far as to say if he doesn't start trying to actually get his life on track within a couple of months he's gone.
He says he 'doesn't understand why I'm being so mean' and he's so obviously trying to justify the purchase by saying things like 'well, it's going to be my only car, so I want to be comfortable' and 'well it's not like it's some ridiculous $60k thing' not to mention the obvious lies he tells me about how he 'has enough to buy it outright.'
And that he's been keeping all him money in cash because he doesn't trust me. Why wouldn't he trust me? Totally BS. We ended up getting into a screaming match with him storming off to God knows where when his loser buddy picked him up. He called me an AH and my wife said I'm being unreasonable. I guess if my wife is saying that she may have a point, so I'm asking here if I'm the AH.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Plz_Dont_Gild_Me wrote:
YTA on this one. A $35k new truck is probably pretty low-end. If he has legitimate needs of hauling for his business that has been succeeding enough for him to get approved to buy such a truck, there's no reason not to get one.
Realistically a used truck for like $20k that can afford to get beat up a little is probably a better option here, but you're being very unsupportive and with how you don't approve of his work, you probably don't have a great finger on the pulse of how his business is going.
Three years is a significant period of time for someone his age, and while dropping out of school can be easily frowned upon, he sounds resourceful and dedicated.
Normal_Matter2058 wrote:
INFO
So you're son has a job and is making good money, but you don't seem to know what's going on at all. How do you know he can't afford the truck?
stroppo wrote:
YTA because I don't understand why you're so angry at your son. Why do you even care if he buys the truck? It sounds like he'll be paying for it himself. And you don't say that you're giving him money all the time.
Only that he doesn't pay rent. So if he buys the truck and then can't make the payments or something, that'll be on him, not you. And if he's buying the car for his work, that counts as a business expense.
Taking an old sawmill, fixing it up, and selling lumber doesn't sound 'dumb.' to me. Why isn't that a 'real job?' You say you don't trust him, but you seem to hate him so much, I wouldn't trust you either. It's clear you have no idea what his real financial situation is.
RocksToRockets wrote:
YTA. I don't even believe this is real. You are mad he runs his own sawmill, and he needs to make a legitimate business purchase? This is written like someone is trying to write a smarmy 80's villain who is mad his kid wants to work with his hands instead of going into the family finance business. If he can get a loan for it without your help, or if he can pay cash, it's nunya.
I teach high school chemistry. If he can buy a 35k truck outright, he is doing a damn sight better than I am with my masters. If I had listened to my heart instead of my shortsighted mother, I would be making gobs of money as an electrician without loan debt. If you are real- BOOO.
highAFallthetime wrote:
YTA I read some of your comments. You talk badly about ur ADHD son who is making his own money but not using a joint bank account with you. WAAAAHHHHHH It’s REALLY hard having ADHD and if he started his own little business then that’s actually f**king amazing. I HAVE ADHD never graduated college and all my ideas of making money haven’t succeeded yet.
If you knew anything about ADHD you would know it’s normal for us to have fixations and then get bored of them. Maybe you should work on your relationship with your son but first work on all the resentment you have towards him.
Then why don’t you research ADHD and quit being such a prick? Do you even know your son or understand him? Honestly, with how you speak about him I’m sure that’s why he doesn’t trust you.
Wickedlove7 wrote:
YTA. You sound like someone who looks down on trades. I don't even know if you like your son. Your entire post seems like you hate him. He's making money, he refurbished an old sawmill and is selling the lumbar. I wouldn't trust you with my money either if you were my parent.
If he has the money he can buy the truck. If he doesn't have the money, a job, decent credit he won't get a loan for the car and then no worry. Your son sounds like he's doing ok for dropping out. Instead of discouraging you could be encouraging. Let's get your GED, look into a trade if that's what he wants.