Dad wants to abandon his 9 yo daughter when wife reveals he's not the father. AITA?
When this father is shocked by his wife revealing that he cheated on her when she got pregnant with their 9 year old daughter, he asks Reddit:
"WIBTA if i abandoned my child?"
I am 37m and my wife is 39f. We had been married for 10 years and we have a daughter who is 9f going on 10. Me and my wife had a fight and she said something about my daughter not being mine I kept a straight face but after she realized what she said she left and went to bed.
I had never thought about my daughter not being mine, but I had to know if she was or wasn't. Long story short I got a paternity test and I wasn't her father. I showed it to my wife who begged and pleaded with me not to get a divorce, but I told her that I was.
I told my family and friends what happened and they said I should cut them out of my life including my daughter. I don't want to raise a child that's not mine nor do I wanna pay for her either.
My wife keeps calling me telling me not to make her and our child homeless, but I don't care if she is homeless or not she shouldn't have cheated. for people wondering where her real dad is he's dead, he died a few years ago. WIBTA if i did just cut her out of my life?
Let's see what readers thought.
throwaway7w writes:
YTA. Cant imagine being such a scumbag that I could even consider throwing away so many years and so much love for a child because of a paternity test. That poor child. She deserves so much better than the both of you.
He was under the impression this is his biological child and on that basis created a relationship with this child.
The relationship between parent and child should be a very, very strong one. The only way you could sever a relationship like that over someone else betraying you would be if you were the worst kind of asshole to begin with, someone who does not even love their own child so there was no relationship *to sever, OR if you put petty vengeance above love for your child. Which also makes you the worst possible kind of asshole.
The wife is a b&ch, sure. But screwing over a child like this is much, much worse.The way you all see kids as disposable is depressing. Please don't have kids.
bendpresent writes:
NTA. Not your child, be sure to OBEY to your lawyer so that you won't be paying child support or alimony.
Your disgusting and cheatingwife is the reason that poor child will be fatherless from now on, not you. All the poeple here calling you AHOLE for not wanting to raise another man's child are mentally sick, they are what's wrong with today's society.
asttutepatron writes:
YTA. As far as that innocent child is concerned, you're her dad. She loves you and calls you dad. She doesn't know anything else. You've been treating her like your kid for this long.
Would finding out that you don't share any DNA with her just flip nine years of your love off like a switch?? Because it doesn't for her. Unless you're a sociopath who sees their kid as a money pit and not a human being, I'm pretty sure you're just pissed at your wife and using your child to hurt her.
B&th move, my dude. Bitch ass move. What I would do is sue for full custody and make her mom pay you child support and ask you if she can see her daughter on weekends.
Either way, you signed the birth certificate, so you're legally obligated to that kid now and there's not much you can do.
banprophet writes:
NTA. It’s not your responsibility to raise someone else’s kid but ( you don’t have to and it won’t make you ta don’t listen to anyone it’s your choice) but wouldn’t it be cruel to that child to go no contact with her? You raised her for 10 years she might not be yours but you are definitely a father for her.
I would sue my wife if she made me raise someone that isn’t mine for 10 years and for the damages she caused to me and to her child but the kid did nothing wrong. Anyways whatever you do nta just divorce that woman.