Daughter refuses dad's request for a paternity test; 'this is his mental illness talking.' AITA?
When this woman is concerned that her dad is asking her mother for a paternity test, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for refusing my dad’s request for a paternity test?"
A few weeks ago my mom came over and explained my dad had confronted her about my conception. He was watching YouTube and a video was talking about calculating a baby’s due date by conception date.
He did the calculations and thinks my mom cheated on him because he was out of town that supposed conception day, based on the due date the Dr gave my mom. My mom asked if I would take a paternity test so that she has proof I am his daughter, and then he would stop bring it up.
I was shocked. I said I would, but now that he bought the test, and is asking me to take it, I am having doubts. My dad has always been paranoid, suffered from intrusive thoughts, slight ocd, and accused people of wild things.
My mom obviously didn’t cheat on my dad since due dates are a guess. If I don’t take the test he will keep bring it up, he can’t let go of intrusive thought. WIBTA if I told him no to the paternity test?
Let's see what readers thought.
ej104 writes:
NTA. But in all honesty, I would do it as a favor to your Mom (if you have a good relationship with her). I would also tell your Dad that until he gets therapy you wouldn’t be speaking with him as much (paranoia is no fun to deal with consistently).
pkwork5 writes:
NTA I would do the paternity test just to get your dad off your mom's back - but I would also let your dad know how disgusting and disappointing his behavior is and that this will affect your relationship with him. Do it, but make it as hard on him as you can - he needs to realize that his behavior affects other people and hopefully he'll get therapy.
efficientcupcake writes:
Your dad needs therapy. Nothing you do is going to alleviate his insecurities. I would tell him, ' i am disoriented you need a genetics test to decide if you are my dad. I don't need s test for me to love you as my father. This request is rather cruel. You are implying my mom cheated on you and lie to both of us all these years.
You imply that if i do not share genes with you, that our time together was a lie. Because you don't love me unconditionally as a parent should. I will take the test, but know that this request has broken our relationship. It will take significant work on your side to repair it.' Big hugs Nta.