Dad falls ill in reaction to daughter's broken arm, mom calls him pathetic.
When this father feels guilty, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for reacting badly when my daughter broke her arm?'
I (41M) have two daughters with my wife (38F). I have a 10 y/o, 'Carol' & a 7 y/o, 'Jane'.
I was at the playground with my children whilst my wife was shopping. I was sitting on a park bench by the playground.
I heard an argument between the two girls & said 'what's going on?' My 7 year old, yelled 'that's not fair!' & began running towards me shouting 'daaaad'.
Jane was doing a kind of fake, frustrated cry where her face was scrunched up, but no tears were coming out. As her eyes were closed she didnt see the edge of the playground barrier (wooden fence almost about 4 inches high to keep the bark in).
She tripped and landed hard on the concrete path. She didnt put her arm out in time & (I found out later) she had a clean break through both her radius & ulna.
She got up, went pale pretty much immediately & held her arm out looking at me in confusion.
She wasn't even crying. Her arm was legitimately floppy. I was also in shock & turned away quickly & stood there for a few seconds with my mouth open.
I then turned back at my daughter who just said 'daddy?' & realised I wasnt imagining, her arm was truly snapped in half & flopping.
I literally ran to the bush behind the park bench & vomited multiple times for about 45 seconds.
My 7 y/o finally began to cry & I could hear my 10y/o comforting her. I felt terrible hearing my 10 y/o do my job & yelled at myself internally to get it together.
I went over to my 7 y/o & said, you'll be okay, lets go to the hospital. I was struggling to look at her. My 10 year old was looking at me weird.
We were close to the hospital so I went straight to the emergency department & they put her in a room immediately.
We were waiting for the technician to take us to get an xray, I messaged my wife, who rushed to the hospital. It didn't take too long to get the xray, speak with the doctors, get a cast, we were back home probably 3 hours later.
After dinner, I was helping my 7 y/o get changed into her pajamas (she was struggling with her cast) & setting her up in bed with pillows & a movie. In this time my 10 year old was helping my wife with tidying up the kitchen.
During this time my 10 year old gave an indepth (albeit slightly exaggerated) version of events at the park. My wife waited til both girls were in the bed & then ripped into me.
She said I was a bad dad & Jane needed comfort & support & I was being selfish. I told her I didnt want to have that reaction, I didn't anticipate that reaction but it was a crazy thing to see with my own eyes that I had never seen before.
She asked why I didn't hug her & I said I was scared of touching her arm but was rubbing her back on the way back to the car. She called me pathetic for vomiting & made me feel terrible.
I spoke to my sister about it, as she has 4 children. She says my reaction was understandable, but can also understand why my wife was upset I didn't handle it in the greatest fashion. AITA?
Let's find out.
pawsplay46 writes:
Let's review. You saw something sickening, vomited, pulled yourself together after like a minute, and got your child to the ER. Despite being overwhelmed you fulfilled every duty you had to take of your child after an accident.
You were there. You heroed through it. And your wife is mad at your for this? NTA but I don't like your wife.
hedghoginsomniac writes:
As a mother, I confess I would be pretty annoyed if my husband vomited over seeing my child break his arm. It would be just as visceral a reaction as his though. I would later realize I was wrong of course.
Also, there’s probably some mom guilt because I know I’d feel terrible about not being there.
When my son broke his arm, my husband was in complete denial and I immediately knew it was broken so I was mad at him for that.
But emotions were high as they are when these things happen. We still rose to the occasion and got him to the ER and all is well.