In a post on Reddit a woman shared a story about accidentally saying something off-color in front of her child. The child obviously repeats it now. People in the comments shared their similar stories. Here's how it started...
Earlier this morning, I was giving my 3 year old a quick shower after a potty accident. We had washed our floor mats so a little towel had been on the ground.
My husband showered late last night and ended up folding up the towel with his clothes. They were damp.
I moved the towel over because I saw a little tiny spider and squished it... but when I moved it, there were easily 25 more baby spiders.
My son was still in the tub and I screamed like a child for my husband who had the baby. He put her in her pack and play and ran in because based on my scream he thought we were hurt.
'What?!'
'It's like the f*cking chamber of secrets in here!'
So we struggle with what to do with them before he gets toilet paper and squishes them all. Then he moved it to see if there was more....
And we found the mama. This b*tch was the size of a mini muffin. And like, that's small, right? It's a mini muffin but this was a big lady that had no business being THAT BIG.
He had to squish her 3 times. During which I said 'squish that b*tch!', 'holy sh*t, holy shit, holy sh*t!' and, 'is there a f*cking basilisk in our house?!'
I've gotten a lot better about dealing with bugs since becoming a mom. And I almost never drop f bombs in front of my kid but wow. This was humbling.
Now he keeps saying, 'squish the b*tch!'
I need a coffee.
Here are other people's stories.
So, I honked at a car a few weeks back (or it honked at me, I don’t remember!) and I made this loud exasperated noise and out from the backseat calls out in this tiny, innocent voice, “thanks for the f*cking blinker!” So, you’re not alone!
I still say “nice blinker, d*ckhead!” after learning it from my mom at a young age. She doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do. 😂😂😂😂
My mom’s road rage is how I first heard the term “clusterf*ck”.
My kid’s vocabulary expanded so much after being in the car with me. Now every time we’re stuck behind a tractor that won’t pull in they say “in your own time snowdrop” and they’ve told their dad that my favourite thing to say while driving is “I f*cking hate people” under my breath.
My son used to go around riding his tricycle and honking a fake horn yelling “beep beep get off your f*cking phone dude!” Learned that one from my husband.
I have the worst time with profanity, I can't help it. Once I became an adult, I let loose and just don't care anymore. It has its drawbacks. I was really frustrated with my youngest a couple days ago and told him to stop 'pissing off' his older brother, who's 7.
A day or so later, I was in the bathroom and they were in the hallway outside the bathroom rough housing, and my 7 year old just says, 'Oh my GOD, stop PISSING ME OFF!' with as much sass and vitriol a 7 year old can have, and I died laughing. He later asked me if it was a 'bad word' and I said it was and he hasn't used it since.
I love this! My almost 6-year-old asked her dad the other day “why does mama say the word “f*cking” when she’s mad?” And at first I was really embarrassed, but I had thought that maybe I should explain that I use that word because it allows me to get some anger out? But I’m a grown-up and I know not to use them in revert to people, only things… or some such explanation 🤦♀️
My go to is 'what the f*ck.' I usually mumble it under my breath periodically. Tonight were at my FILs. And my 4 y.o. drops some food on the ground and mumbles 'oh, what the f*ck.'
We started our parenting journey by censoring ourselves... until we started censoring the wrong words ('the fucking m!!' Instead of 'the effing mess!')
So we gave up. Now, we just remind our daughter that some words are 'grown up words' and not to say them at school. 🤷♀️ Can't scold her for saying she dropped her fucking muffins though, both because I'm not a hypocrite and it's hilarious.