Grandma reveals to DIL why she didn't make her a baby blanket. AITA?

When this woman is annoyed with her DIL's "high maintenance" reaction, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for telling my DIL why I didn’t make her a baby blanket?"

I need some more opinions. I am a grandparent to 3 lovely kids. It is a tradition that I make a baby blanket with the kids name and give it to the father/mother so they can use when the kid is born.

It take me months to make this blanket due to me embroidering and working. For examples my oldest grand girl has at least a hundred little butterflies on it along with her name. My grandson had different plants. In short they take me a long time. The issue started when my DIL announced she was pregnant.

I started making a blanket after asking the theme for the nursery. It was going to have planets and stars on it. Well I needed the name so I could figure out how the planets were going to places and how big of space I need.

No answer, I asked again to both of them, and DIL got back with Abby. Okay I started planning until my daughter called me up saying the name was Sam. This confused me and I called up my DIL asking if I have the right name.

She told me to drop it and she isnt telling me. I explained again that I need the name in order to make the blanket. Depending on how long it is it may not fit in the area it needs to go and I would need to change the design. She told me no, I asked my son same answer.

So I didn’t make, Jennifer was born this week. My son and DIL are pissed I didn’t make it. I told them I needed the name but they weren’t hearing it. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

doktorseagull writes:

NTA. This sounds like it is YOUR tradition that you do this for your grandchildren, not their parents. So I don't agree with the AH crowd saying you should have just made a nameless blanket, that's not the gift you wanted to produce for your grandchild.

You are entitled to make your gift however you envision it. It's fine that the parents wanted to keep the baby name a surprise, but they cannot expect a finished blanket at the birth in that case.

It's totally reasonable to assume once they revealed the name a blanket would be worked on then. They are being unrealistic/unreasonable and tbh a bit entitled, the blanket isn't their gift...

purpley7 writes:

NTA they weren't obligated to tell you the name if they didn't want to, but they have no right to suddenly be shocked and mad that there's no blanket. You explained very clearly why the name is necessary to the process of embroidering the blanket, and they chose to decline.

It's very nice that you're still gifting your granddaughter a blanket so she's still included, the parents just need to get over the fact that their own actions caused a delay.

For what it's worth, I think this is absolutely beautiful. My grandma knitted blankets for both me and my sister when we were born.

I was obsessed with baby bop from barney when I was young and demanded my mum buy fabric dye to dye mine yellow so I could be just like baby bop my grandma died when I was 5 so I don't have any memories of her, but I have the blankets she knitted for me and my sister, and they're still in my wardrobe waiting for when either of us have children.

I may not remember my grandma, but a piece of her will be passed to my kids one day.

tangletwisted writes:

As a crafter I’m going to go with ESH. You could e made one without the name at all. Or you could’ve designed something where it wouldn’t matter how long the name was as it would fit along the side, etc. to be added later.

You were pissed you weren’t being given the information ahead of time and so decided not to do it at all. It’s your right not to make one but you were clearly punishing them. Only reason this is ESH is because they told you two incorrect names and should’ve just said we want to keep it a secret.

muchprofessional writes:

NAH. Define "months" because it takes time to figure out whether baby will be a girl or boy, for starters and then decide on a name, and not everybody wants everyone's opinions five months early on little Julie or Todd's name till they're born.

You certainly could have worked around the name and finished it after the fact, which it sounds like you're doing.

Why on earth are any of you creating an issue over a freaking baby blanket instead of just celebrating the new baby? Babies don't have to have their extra special embroidered baby blanket the minute they're born. I've given plenty of afghans and quilts six+ months late by now and the babies do not care.

They aren't even old enough to appreciate it for years yet, but the parents will remember that you kept pestering them for a name for years to come but must not have had the guts to say, hey Grandma, we're not sharing the name till baby's born, please respect that.

I recommend you overcome and adapt in the future. Parents of new grandbaby get to dictate when details are shared, not crafty grandma, whether a gift is involved or not. It's certainly a hassle though for those of us that prefer to make baby gifts, but work around it in the future.

zfourdriver8 writes:

NTA. I can understand the parents wanted to not tell the name to anyone before the child was born. But why can't they just tell that to you?

Or tell you 'Please understand we don't want the name be known yet, but it will be something with x letters', so you could at least prepare it and then after the birth and name announcement just add the name? Or ask, if you could do it without name? The way they handlet it, they don't have to be upset their child doesn't have a blanket ready.