Grandmother furious daughter is pregnant; says, 'Oh no, not again!' AITA?
"AITA for saying not again and not being happy for my daughters pregnancy?"
My daughter got pregnant the second year into college, it was not a good time. My husband and I stepped up so she could finish college, which she did. She just graduated and just got a job. The problem is at the moment she can not afford childcare or rent since her job kinda sucks.
We were hoping she would be moving out by the end of the year. She told us today that she is pregnant again. When she told us I said not again. She asked if I was happy for her and I told her no.
That we will not look after another kid and we already wanted her to find her own place by the end of the year or next summer at the latest. She is angry at us and we got into an argument. She thinks we are assholes. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
wordlybug1876 writes:
Maybe unpopular, but NTA, you helping with childcare is a privilege, not a right and you already did well by her with her first kid. It's selfish to keep having them if you rely on other people to pick up the slack and your responsibilities.
prudentvaliable writes:
NTA. YTA. It all depends. Did you communicate to her that she needed to move out of your home after she got her job? Did you ever have a discussion with her to not have another child out of wedlock? If not, then you’re the YTA.
However, I guess she’s used to your plush accommodations and free childcare and free housing. Perhaps she thought you would be super excited to have a second grandchild. Obviously, you’re not. NTA. This is tough.
You may need to finally enact tough love, and just have her find other living accommodations (perhaps, with the father of her second child).
I know that sounds cruel, but some people are just boneheaded stupid and dull in the brain. She should not have had another child without having the financial support of the father who should be helping with housing for her and her second child.
aukwardotter writes:
NTA. You're doing the right thing by being honest. Your daughter doesn't think of the downhill cost (specifically the tolls of time, energy, funds and peace) you're paying on her behalf. Although it was kind and a moral good to help her the first time, she's baked that help into her calculus and has already decided you'd be doing the work. Again.
She may really want this baby, let her and its father deal with that. Your daughter has no respect for your right to a peaceful life and well earned rest.