Korean mom gets confronted by pre-k teacher about son's lunches having 'unpleasant odor.'
As a parent, you want your child to feel comfortable and accepted at school. But you also want them to know it's okay to be different, and that acceptance doesn't have to coincide with complete conformity to the status quo.
Finding this balance can be even harder than it sounds, especially when there are ignorant forces at play.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she's wrong for continuing to pack her kid an 'inappropriate lunch.'
She wrote:
AITA for packing my kid an “inappropriate” lunch?
I (34F) have a (5M) son who attends preschool. A few hours after I picked him up from school today, I got a phone call from his teacher. She made absolutely no effort to sound kind when she, in an extremely rude and annoyed tone, told me to stop packing my son such “disgusting and inappropriate” lunches.
I felt absolutely appalled when she said this, as me and the teacher have, up until now, always maintained a very friendly relationship. She added that the lunches I’m packing my son are “very distracting for the other students and have an unpleasant odor.” I told her that I understand her concerns, as the lunches I pack are definitely not the healthiest, but the lunches are according to my son’s preferences.
The usual lunch that I send him to school with is small celery sticks with blue cheese and goat cheese, kimchi and spam (we are Korean and he absolutely adores this dish), and spicy Doritos marinated in Sriracha (I know, I know, but he deserves a snack, and I don’t put that many chips in the baggy.)
I ended the call by saying that I very much appreciated her worries, but that at the end of the day, I am not going to drastically change my sons’ lunches all of a sudden, and that it’s not my fault of other students are “distracted” by his meal. It is very important to me what my son enjoys, and I want him to like my lunches.
The teacher sent an email to me an hour ago saying that my response was “unacceptable” and that his lunches are “just too inappropriate to be sent to school any longer.” I haven’t responded yet and don’t want to. I want to maintain a healthy relationship with my son’s teachers. I am confused as to what to do. AITA?
People did not hold back their thoughts about OP's teacher.
thatshygal717 wrote:
Report her to the principal. Her comments regarding your son’s food are “disgusting” and “have an unpleasant tone” aka cough cough racist tone. She’s too inappropriate to be teaching at the school any longer. NTA.
RivSilver wrote:
I saw the title and thought 'how much would I bet OP is not white and the teacher objected to food from their culture.' And yep, nailed it. NTA, OP.
Texas_sucks15 wrote:
NTA. Go to the principal. It's blatant racism. If they don't do anything. Go to the press.
apothekryptic wrote:
NTA. I came into this thread wondering what exactly an 'inappropriate' lunch might entail... Sandwiches cut into the shapes of dicks? Teacher is disrespectful and very much out of line.
needstobesaved wrote:
NTA. A lot of second generation immigrants are ashamed to bring their food in public because of people like this teacher, who clearly is very intolerant. Asian food is not inappropriate she is.
TheLastLibrarian1 wrote:
NTA. I’ve had a teacher talk to me about my kid’s lunches twice. First one when son was in pre-k, “please don’t send blueberries in his lunch, he puts them in his mouth and then shoots them out like a machine gun.”
Second was for my daughter in grade 1, “ the bento characters are very cute but she keeps playing with them and doesn’t finish her lunch in time, doesn’t want to miss recess, and is understandably irritated and hungry later in the day.” These are appropriate comments in a student’s lunch. I don’t see anything wrong with what you pack.
The teacher is without a doubt TA in this situation, not only an AH, but a discriminatory one.