Man confronts wife after she keeps bothering sister to babysit, 'this is unreasonable.'

It takes a village to raise a child. But most parents in the U.S. (and many other countries) aren't living in a community that functions like a village. The combination of a hyper-individualist culture and the isolation of the nuclear family leave many new parents feeling stranded and abandoned.

While it's completely reasonable for parents to feel stressed and disappointed by this reality, it doesn't mean these frustrations should be taken out on one singular person. Especially, someone who never promised to be part of the childcare process in the first place.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a new dad asked if he's wrong for telling his wife her expectations for her sister are deeply unrealistic.

He wrote:

AITA for telling my wife her expectations for her sister are unrealistic?

My wife 28f and I 29M just had our first child together 4 months ago. It’s been a stressful but fulfilling time in our lives together. The only perceived issue has been how involved my wife’s sister P 30F has been with the baby.

P to put it simply is not a baby person, she doesn’t want kids but has always been supportive during the pregnancy. My wife thought that she would be around more than she is to help take the burden off of us but she has expressed that having to take care of a baby makes her extremely uncomfortable even just for a couple of hours.

The thing is my wife is constantly nagging her to help more every time she sees her sister, so the little help we do get is gone since P is now avoiding us completely. I told my wife that her expectations are unreasonable given she’s always known how P has felt about kids.

She needs to let it go and apologize before we lose P from helping us completely in the future. She’s now giving me the cold shoulder because I’ve picked her sister's side over hers.

People across the spectrum of childlessness to active parents wrote their thoughts on the situation.

imothro wrote:

NTA. Your wife is incredibly entitled, can't respect boundaries, and seems hellbent on destroying her relationship with her sister. She needs to back off and apologize. She chose to have a baby. You chose to have a baby. Her sister was not a part of this choice and owes her NOTHING.

Pepper-90210 wrote:

NTA. Regardless of how P feels about children, she has ZERO obligation to help out with your child. Your wife is acting entitled and she’s creating the opposite of what she wants. She’s repelling P away.

Next_Lime2798 wrote:

NTA. I cannot wrap my head around people having babies and expecting those in their circle to help. They didn’t have that baby. If your wife wasn’t ready for children she shouldn’t have had a child 🤷🏻‍♀️

Alien-Variation-1970 wrote:

NTA. You're right and your wife is being a jerk to her sister over this. I get your wife is tired but you are the only one who owes her help because this is your baby too. Any help that parents, siblings, other family/friends provide is gravy and should be accepted with gratitude. If limitations on that help make the help not useful then politely decline.

just-jen57 wrote:

NTA. You understand your SIL’s side and told your wife the truth. Sounds like she just didn’t want to hear it.

It's unanimously agreed that OP did the right thing by talking to his wife, hopefully, she is able to see and accept that.