Man eats pregnant wife's 'special snacks'; she threatens divorce. AITA?
When this man is concerned that he ruined his marriage, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for eating all my pregnant wife's special snacks?"
I need help. I (28M) hosted a work lunch where the main food was sub sandwiches (homemade). My wife (27F) is 5-months pregnant, and craves all pickles: Butter, Garlic, Dill, Kosher, Mini, etc... you name it and she craves it.
She calls them her special snacks. Due to this extensive craving, which is understandable I guess, we have several jars of varied pickles.
I used 1 (one) jar of dill pickles for the sub sandwiches (which are her favourite), but still left over 7 (seven) jars of varying types of pickles. After the lunch was finished, she confronted me about eating all of her dill pickles, and demanded I go buy more.
I argued that I only used 1 (one) jar and never host anything (as this was our first house and we had just fully settled in after moving out of my parents finished basement), and she told me that I should have asked her first, and that I was "a bi**h for eating her pickles".
I told her she was being unreasonable, and refused to buy her more until she finished all 7 (seven) jars of pickles we still have (and have had for months. some are not opened.)
She threatened me with divorce and did not speak to me for 3 (three) days, until her ankles were to swollen to get her shoes on by herself. Please help. Am I the A-Hole?If yes, I will apologize and buy 4 (four) jars of her favourite dill pickles. If not, we may get the divorce (although this threat was likely due to her spiked hormones).
Let's see what readers thought.
leviathanlord8 writes:
Yes, absolutely. It's not about using them or not using them. You know your pregnant wife craves them. Since you offered to make sandwiches for work folks, you must have gone to the store and got bread, meats, condiments, and vegetable toppings for the sandwiches.
So you were at the store, getting supplies that you were going to use for sandwiches, and decided that you didn't need to get pickles because you had ones that your wife was eating.
It never, ever had to become an issue, but you intentionally raided her stash. And THEN you decided to double-down and treat her like a small child and ration future pickle purchases until she finished all the other jars?
What in the world is THAT? Sorry and condolences to you that her carrying a future human being and your child around inside of her is irritating to you, because, really, this is all about what's convenient for your, right? 100% YTA.
ducksworth7 writes:
ESH. Hormones or no, she overreacted to you eating “her” pickles. You guys are married and presumably you both share in the costs of groceries. Calling you a b***h for eating shared groceries was pretty extreme given the circumstances.
You on the other hand, chose to escalate by refusing to replace the dill pickles until she ate all 6 (six) other non-dill jars. Petty, immature, also unreasonable. Better to acknowledge her displeasure and offer to replace them as soon as you next go to the store.
Both of you need to reflect on your actions and decide if that’s how you want to relate to each other. It seems stressful and unpleasant for both of you.
ozzybay writes:
YTA. A request to refill her FAVORITE pickles should not be that hard to fulfill, you’re just being stubborn it sounds like. There are many hills to die on, this isn’t one of them.
As a fellow pickle lover, my husband knows the pickles in the fridge are off limits to others. Lucky for me, he does not enjoy pickles whatsoever so I get to enjoy alone. I understand the pickles were used while hosting lunch but you still should have planned on replacing them on your own, without being told. You already knew they were her favorite.
She’s in one of the most emotional turbulent times of her life, she most likely can’t fully control her emotional reactions no matter how unhinged she may seem.
Being pregnant (I’m also pregnant) is honestly the pits most of the time so we find our joy in the small things and that’s mostly our snacks lolol. Just make sure you are being sensitive to her needs during this time.
addtional0 writes:
YTA. She flew off the handle, yes - not appropriate. You however, know her body is asking for specific flavors of pickles. Her body is doing this because that particular food has a vitamin or mineral she is likely short on.
She should never have spoken to you that way, or threatened you over pickles. I probably would’ve already ordered another jar, knowing she regularly requires the ones you used.
I’m not sure why you’re so hard pressed to replace it - and why there’s no mention of her buying another jar. Just a rule you laid down - that no more will be purchased until she eats the other flavors. Both of you are handling this in a pretty toxic way.
oldinevitable0 writes:
Here's my suggestion: Buy more than one jar of dill pickles, like say six. Give half to your wife, keep the other half for you. That way you both have enough. Just make it clear that she if she finished hers that she can't have yours. Since apparently you're not supposed to be eating her pickles. So the same standard should be applied to her.