Parents won't let son leave the house until he stops screaming curse words. AITA?
The irony of this story being posted in a subreddit called "AITA" is not lost on us.
One parent writes asking for advice on how to handle their 7-year-old son's new bad habit. Reddit seems to think they are approaching the issue all wrong.
"AITA For not letting my son (7) go out in public until he stops repeating a cuss word he learned?"
Last night me and my girlfriend were watching a movie, probably about 11PM. Our son was supposed to be in bed and asleep for a couple hours by now, but apparently he woke up and walked out to go use the bathroom right when a character loudly said 'F*ck.'
We had the volume lower than normal, but he still heard it. I tried my best to get him back to bed calmly but he kept asking what it meant. I told him it's bad word he shouldn't say and that he doesn't need to know what it means.
Apparently that only made him more curious. It's been about a day later and we've threatened and given out as many punishments as we can think of. 'Sit in a corner' 'We'll take your video games' 'We wont let friends come over' etc. But he won't stop saying it and / or asking what it means.
Well, me and my girlfriend wanted to go out to eat. Usually, we would take our son with us, however we decided that we probably shouldn't, as he might say it in public or even to someone, or ask someone what it meant.
I don't want to deal with that or have to explain it to someone. I especially don't want to be kicked out of a place because our son is constantly saying obscenities.
So for the first time since he was like, two, we got a baby sitter. Not a complete stranger, one of our friends that my son has met many times. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but he just refused to stop inquiring about the new word he just learned.
He was very upset with not getting to go to dinner. I told him that we would bring him back food and wouldn't be gone long and that our friend would watch a movie with him or play with him, whatever he wanted. He wasn't having it.
We were only gone for two hours and apparently when we were gone, all he did was sit in his room and pout. He did eventually get bored and come out to watch TV, but was still visibly upset.
Now we're home, and we've made some progress. He seems to be mostly over his fascination with the word. Regardless, he's still mad about not getting to go out. I feel like a bit of an a**hole, but idk. AITA?
Here were the top rated posted from readers:
This is a perfectly normal, age appropriate part of his development and you could not have handled it worse OP. 7 year olds are still learning. They can't pull reasons out of their butts. It's your job to teach him - explain why it's a bad word and what the consequences of saying it may be.
All you've done is punish him for being curious and show him that you're ashamed of him learning and exploring new language (again, developmentally appropriate for a child of his age). What kind of lesson do you think he got from the way you've been treating him?
You cannot punish and isolate a child and refuse to explain why. We aren't born with the ability to understand correlation and causation.
YTA. I dunno if you know this, but kids are curious. My son is five and his delicate ears have heard many “bad words”. When he asks what a word means, we tell him - and say it’s for grown-ups to use, and that’s the end of it. The continued secrecy is only fueling your son’s curiosity.
Exactly OP, YTA. The reason kids don't change their behaviour if you just punish them over and over for something is because they do not understand why it is bad. If you do not want him to do something, you need to give him a satisfactory answer as to why.
'It's a bad word' isn't enough. He's 7, it's very likely he's heard it said elsewhere. And if other people are saying it why can't I? What does it mean? And why is that so bad? What is the word used for?
Maybe give him an alternative like 'fudge' or 'fridge' to say - sit him down, explain it calmly, answer his questions, tell him it's not an appropriate word for a little boy to use etc. Watch how quickly he'll start listening to you compared to when he gets punished and doesn't understand why.
YTA. Explain to him what it means. He'll hear it a lot anyway unless you keep him locked away. Also punishments are a very inefficient parenting tool. Look into some courses or books on respectful parenting.
Well kind of YTA on this one. My issues is that you told him it was a bad word. Instead of telling him it's a 'bad word' break it down a bit better, tell him that word carries so many different meanings because all words it depends on when it's being used, but in public most people don't like to hear it, so please don't use it so people don't feel uncomfortable.