Man yells at wife after he finds out she took their young kids out into 'Code Red' air.
Parenting is hard enough when you are on the same page, but it's near impossible without a united front. In order to keep your kids safe, and teach them consistent values, you have to agree on the fundamentals of caregiving.
In times of emergency, which sadly seems to be more common now, having a united front is even more essential both for your kids' livelihood, and also the healthy of your relationship. Unfortunately, the stress of emergencies can make it harder to calmly communicate and agree with each other.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for yelling at his wife for exposing their 1 and 3-year-olds to harmful air quality after they agreed to keep them inside.
He wrote:
AITA for yelling at my (F27) wife for taking our two young kids into poor air quality after she was warned not to?
So we live in a state affected by the wildfires in Canada. Today we were in Code Red for air quality and the warnings specifically said for young children to stay inside. I told this to my wife at around 10am because she had been planning on taking them to an outdoor event while at her mother’s. I said not to and that it could wait for another day.
Later on in the day I notice her location is the exact place this event is at. She had our 3 and 1-year-old out at this event in harmful air quality. When I confronted her, she said “well our son really wanted to go.” I honest to god was just speechless. I couldn’t believe that she disregarded warnings that this air quality could have short and long term effects on our kids.
We had plenty of health issues with our son so that’s why I was so angry. And what’s worse is she snuck off about it, had I not noticed the location change then I wouldn’t have even known. I yelled at her and told her that I was just disgusted at the disregard for our kids’ health. AITA?
Edit: Because this is getting nitpicked, there was an agreement to keep the kids inside. Nothing I said was an order. Please do not assume. Sorry if the language implied something different.
People did not hold back on this one.
StAlvis wrote:
NTA. What utterly s@#t parenting.
'The warnings specifically said for young children to stay inside.'
'She said “well our son really wanted to go.'
chin_chillin93 wrote:
NTA. Your kids and their safety needs to be paramount, whether other people deem the hazard as dangerous or not. The fact is that warnings were put out to keep kids inside, she did not do so. It’s that simple. Not to mention she did it without even speaking to you, parenting is a two way street and the fact that she took them without telling you says she already knew it would cause an issue.
LoveBeach8 wrote:
NTA. She apparently doesn't have much common sense and she's the AH. As an adult, she shouldn't let a toddler make health decisions for her and their sibling. Shame on her. Their little lungs don't need all that smoke exposure, especially since your son has had problems before.
EDIT: I had to go back when I first read your post because you said 'he' when referring to your wife!
Head_Towel_1168 wrote:
NTA, we're in an area affected by the wildfire smoke and it's pretty miserable to be outside in this, even masked. After 15 minutes out to pick up groceries our eyes were watering from the smoke. Your children's health is paramount and your wife's seeming disregard for this is alarming.
JustheBean wrote:
NTA. Your kids health is the top priority. That should have been that. I am also in the effected area and air quality was awful. I mean it’s bad enough that outdoor concerts are being cancelled, and that’s because of how dangerous it would be for adults to be exposed to this air quality.
This isn’t a little sub-optimal air quality warning. It was bad. Absolutely horrifying that your wife exposed the two young kids to that for no real reason at all.
Soft-Attention5699 wrote:
I’m in upstate NY and have breathing issues. I couldn’t even get half my chores done today from the smoke. I can’t even imagine how reckless that was of her. Was her mom egging this on? Even the deer around here are on edge. This is real.
It's pretty clear that OP isn't TA here, his wife is, and it's worrisome she doesn't share his concern level for their kids' health.