Aunt refuses to hide toys from neurotypical niece; tells sister to 'parent her child.'
When this aunt is conflicted, she asks Reddit:
'WIBTA if I don't put away my 'toys' before my niece comes for Thanksgiving?'
Little background: I am a 40(f), who comes from a decent sized family (4 of us kids in total). My husband (37M) and I have been married 5 years and have no kids, despite trying. To give my parents a break, we offered to host Thanksgiving at our place this year.
All things told, we are looking at about 16 people. I collect Lego (architecture stuff) and it's displayed around the house as decor. My oldest sister has 4 kids (1 doesn't associate with the family). She will be bringing her son (28M), and 2 daughter (12f and 8f).
My 8 year old niece has a very rare condition which includes seizures and autistic tendencies. While I know she has special needs, she is a very bright and creative child. But because of her complications they tend to indulge her or cater to her to keep her 'happy'.
Today my sister informed me if I have any 'toys' my niece can't play with I should put them away. Not actually asked, more told. Because she doesn't want to fight with my niece. My husband thinks it's ridiculous and my sister should just parent her child for a change.
I admit my sister often thinks the rest of family should watch her kids at family events. We put away my decorative dolls but the Lego is a large part of my decor, and I would like to show it off. WIBTA if I refuse to put away my 'toys' and simply ask my sister to mind her kids?
Let's see what Reddit had to say on this.
corgihuntress writes:
YTA parents ask people to put s**t away all the time. Breakables especially. This is not an unusual thing. What she's telling you is that she may not be able to keep a close enough eye on her daughter and that she doesn't want anything to happen to your things. It's actually considerate rather than pretending she'll be able to do it.
I get that you don't like her tone or the way she went about it, and clearly you have thoughts on how she's parenting and maybe you're right, but the point is, you can be pissed and leave your stuff out and see it broken, or you can do like normal people and put valuable things out of the reach of children.
gastropundia12 disagrees:
NTA. As long as you do not mind having them destroyed. If you do not mind keeping your mouth shut so your guest can enjoy themselves, NTA. I used to be a parenting expert like you before I had kids. I suspect that you are planning on being a giant ass hole.
abonlynx writes:
YTA. Your sister isn't going to magically become a real parent overnight, and even if she is committed to doing better, she's not likely to start at your house. I would put the stuff away so your things are safe.