Mom forbids daughter from wearing improper dress to funeral. AITA?
When this woman feels embarrassed by her daughter's attire at a funeral, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for forbidding my daughter to wear her outfit to the funeral we were going to?'
We have a funeral to attend and I (f45) asked my daughter (f19) what she’s going to wear. She showed me her outfit. Black tights with black flats, black sweater and a black dress.
The dress was fine at first glance, it was up to her neck and knee length. However, it’s backless. Not fully. Kind of from the bra line to her waist, there’s a gap where skin I see showing. I told her she was absolutely to not wear it as it’s inappropriate.
She said, it is fine and that’s why she has the black sweater as it’s going to be cold and she wouldn’t remove it even if she’s warm.
Sure, with the sweater in, you could never tell but I told her it’s not appropriate and she’ll embarrass me. She said tough luck and that’s what she’s wearing.
I said she’s not and she’s not allowed to go. She can’t currently drive because she’s got a twisted ankle thus I’m picking her up and driving her and she has no one else to do it.
I told her, I will not drive her half na&ed to a funeral and she told me I was mean and doesn’t answer my phone all she now.
What is she has to take it off or it rides up? She should be properly attired in case she has to remove her sweater. It’s just disrespectful.
I told my sisters about this, and one agrees with me, and the other (the one who plays the “cool” aunt) agrees with my kid and told me I was the AH. Was I really the AH. At this point I’m not sure anymore. TEchnically she’ll be covered but it’s still inappropriate. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
responsibleread87 writes:
YTA. Black dress up to her neck, knee length, and she’s wearing tights. You’re worried about it being barely backless, even though she’s wearing a sweater that will cover her back.
What do you want her to wear? A black long sleeve full length dress, gloves, with a veil too? Gosh, what do you think of women that wear tank tops to their corporate job with a sweater? You’d shame me. What are you wearing? Maybe you’re embarrassing her.
fjar writes:
YTA. Would it not be more embarrassing for you to show up without her if people are expecting her to be there and pay her respects?
Unbelievable that you're punishing her over a hypothetical situation, of which she's already reassured you won't happen. Let it go. Would you not want her there for support?
What's more important in this context, the grieving or the possibility that someone may notice that there is a small amount of skin showing on your daughters back? Get your priorities straight.
pacquaoi writes:
YTA - This is ridiculous. From just this limited post (i could be totally wrong), it sounds like you are struggling giving up parental control over your daughter.
\She is 19 and while still young, old enough to chose what she wears along with a whole lot more. I find it telling that the concern is that 'she'll embarrass me' a concern all about you. This event is about the person who died not you.