Mom secretly moves 'homeless' daughter and SIL into house; is told she 'betrayed trust.'
AITA for letting my daughter and her husband move in with me so they won’t be homeless?
This situation is complicated and I’m at my wits end. I have 2 daughters who are civil to each other but don’t get along with each other. My eldest is married to Steve while my youngest is engaged to Adam. Steve and Adam are so different they disliked each other the first time they met.
Steve works part time because he treasures family time with my daughter. They spend their time traveling and exploring different parts of the states. He spends freely because he often say he can’t take his money with him when he dies.
Adam is an executive and for his side business, he owns several dozen properties. He works about 80 hours a week at both jobs because his philosophy is that he wants to make as much money as possible while he’s young so that he can retire early.
Steve thinks Adam is a corporate shill and basically blames him for everything that’s wrong with society. Steve said that Adam is actively keeping people from buying homes and making them dependent on him. Adam thinks Steve is a slacker and have told Steve people like him who does the bare minimum but expects hand outs are what’s wrong with society.
Neither of them are bad and they treat my daughters well.
I retired last year due to my health so Adam built a house for me so that I can live comfortably. I was able to customize everything in the house to fit my taste. Adam owns the house, pays for all of the utilities, and charges me $1 a month for rent. Part of our deal is that no one else can live in the house but me. He was very clear about this.
Steve recently lost his job so he and my eldest are living off of her single income. As you can imagine, they are struggling. My eldest recently called me crying because their savings are almost gone and they can’t make next month’s rent. She asked if she and Steve could move in with me until he finds another job.
I live on a fixed income so I don’t have money to set them up in another apartment. She’s my daughter and I couldn’t let her be homeless so I let Steve and her move in. I gave them strict rules and a time limit on when they had to move out. I didn’t think my youngest and Adam would find out because they live in another state but somehow she found out.
She called and screamed at me last night for betraying Adam’s trust but I argued that I’m a mother to 2 daughters and I can’t let one be homeless. I told her about the rules and time limit and begged her not to tell Adam. She hung up on me so I don’t know what’s going to happen. I know I went back on an agreement but I had a good reason.
Here's what people have to say:
Equivalent_Collar_59 writes:
YTA. I’m sorry but Adam is doing you a favour by letting you live in this house and he gave you one rule so he’s not taken advantage of and not only did you break this rule but you did so by allowing the person who insults Adam to live there. Your daughter and her husband want to live by the values they have fair enough but they need to be able to have money to back that up.
onlytexts writes:
I feel Adam set up that rule because he knew this was going to happen.
sreno77 writes:
Steve should stick to his values and not live in a House built by a corporate shill 🙄
Hoplite68 writes:
Wanting to spend time with family is admirable. Spending money freely while working part time is not. Steve was unwise and financially irresponsible and either had no plan for if something happened or planned to just have other people help him. Steve basically spent money he didn't have and risked his family's security.
Last-Elderberry-4972 writes:
And Steve does not want Adam to know about it while denouncing his world view.
thecoffeefrog writes:
YTA. You went back on an agreement that you made. Why didn't you call your youngest and tell her the situation instead of going behind their back?
kennyPowersNet writes:
Because she thought they wouldn’t find out and would never have told them , which makes her a bigger AH.