Woman shows kids a spreadsheet of everything she pays for; ex calls her a 'jerk.' AITA?

Most parents want to keep things above board when they're coparenting with their ex. This means, no matter how frustrating the ex is, they don't bad-talk them to the kids. However, when the ex starts spreading falsehoods, the gloves are bound to come off.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she went too far when she showed her kids a spreadsheet of all the things she pays for.

She wrote:

AITA for showing a spreadsheet of everything I pay for and showing their dad doesn’t do s#$t?

Okay, I’m getting mixed opinions from this. Two kids 13 and 11, I’m not going to lie we live a pretty frugal life, all my extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends. Dad has them once a month and is the fun parent. Can’t get his child payments in but willing to do a surprise trip to Kennywood. It’s frustrating all right.

I try not to say anything bad about him but he has been pushing the narrative that without him and the money he gives me we wouldn’t have the home. It’s so false, and now the kids are going 'well, dad pays for this.' My last straw is when the kids told me that it’s dad who pays for the home.

So I pulled up my budget spreadsheet and it includes all the stuff that he pays for, so child support and he hasn’t paid for the past two months. The kids were upset for being lied to and the oldest get in an argument with him since she called to confirm. We got in a argument and he's calling me a jerk. My friends are split on this and I am wondering if I went too far.

People got into the weeds with OP.

phoenix_ekawa wrote:

NTA. The situation sucks.

But your Ex attacked. You were just defending yourself. So nope. Not the AH. He is.

dfjdejulio wrote:

If he was actually lying and the kids were believing his lies, then absolutely unequivocally NTA, period. You almost had to do this. He doesn't look bad in their eyes because you exposed him. He looks bad because he lied to begin with, and because he created the situation that he lied about.

(EDIT: It's just barely possible that he actually believed his own lies. If so, that's not really better.)

LongDistRider wrote:

NTA. The truth can hurt sometimes. But the truth is in the facts.

As for the back child support, you are owed...court order for garnishment would be in order.

SlideItIn100 wrote:

NTA. I hate to see kids pulled into divorce and support drama, but they’re old enough to know the truth.

CarbonS0ul wrote:

NTA; Hard situation, but honestly showing a spreadsheet of expenses is a more considerate and thoughtful way of showing this to kids. They are old enough to begin to understand and this is better than emotional manipulation, guilt, or deceit.

While the situation itself is full of AHery, OP is NTA in question.