'AITA for insisting my daughter’s teacher call her by her proper name?'
"AITA for insisting my daughter’s teacher call her by her proper name?"
My daughter, Alexandra (14F), hates any shortened version of her name. This has gone on since she was about 10. The family respects it and she’s pretty good about advocating for herself should someone call her Lexi, Alex, etc. She also hates when people get her name wrong and just wants to be called Alexandra. She took Spanish in middle school.
The teacher wanted to call all students by the Spanish version of their name (provided there was one). So, she tried to call Alexandra, Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her and the teacher respected it. She had the same teacher all 3 years of middle school, so it wasn’t an issue. Now, she’s in high school and is still taking Spanish.
Once again, the new teacher announced if a student had a Spanish version of their name, she’d call them that. So, she called Alexandra, Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her but the teacher ignored her. My daughter came home upset after the second week. I am not the type of mom to write emails, but I felt I had to in this case.
If matters, this teacher is not Hispanic herself, so this isn’t a pronunciation issue. Her argument is if these kids ever went to a Spanish-speaking country, they’d be called by that name.
I found this excuse a little weak as the middle school Spanish teacher actually was Hispanic who had come here from a Spanish-speaking country and she respected Alexandra’s wishes.
The teacher tried to dig her heels in, but I said if it wasn’t that big a deal in her eyes that she calls her Alejandra, why is it such a big deal to just call her Alexandra? Eventually, she gave in. Alexandra confirmed that her teacher is calling her by her proper name.
My husband feels I blew this out of proportion and Alexandra could’ve sucked it up for a year (the school has 3 different Spanish teachers, so odds are she could get another one her sophomore year). AITA?
People kept it real in the comments.
frlejo wrote:
Good for you for having your daughter's back. Too bad your hub didn't.
MercuryRising92 wrote:
NTA - but the teacher's reasoning was off. If I went to a foreign country and told them my name was Anthony and they started calling me Antonio, I tell them it was Anthony and that's what they'd call me.
It's different for a person who has worked hard to be called by their correct name to have it changed than for a person with a generic name. For example. Someone name John goes through life with his name correctly pronounced and it's fun to be called Juan for an hour.
RB1327 wrote:
ESH, Everybody Sucks Here. "Converting" names in a foreign-language class is a common thing (even when it's a complete swap like Etienne/Steven in French class). It's not a personal attack or disrespect right off the bat.
The middle-school Spanish teacher probably gave in because it's not worth the hassle dealing with parents who think every kid's demand must be met. Which honestly is what this high-school teacher probably should have done, for their own sanity. Your husband is right that you and Alexandra are overreacting to the situation. Your email isn't going to help either.
OneConversation4 wrote:
NTA. I think it’s cute to use the Spanish versions of names in Spanish class, but if a kid doesn’t like it, then back off.
FearTheLiving1999 wrote:
I mean, every Spanish teacher I ever had did this. I don’t get the outrage here. Not one kid ever argued about it, usually people just laughed. Yes, the teacher’s reasoning is stupid, but it’s Spanish class. They’re just referring to things and people in Spanish. I don’t understand why such a stink was made in the first place.
It still helps people in the class to understand how names translate to the other language, even though people will still call you by your preferred name. This is a weird hill to die on. There’s something to be said for not taking yourself too seriously. I’m going with a YTA here.