'AITA for yelling at a parent after called my child a buzzkill?' UPDATED
"AITA for yelling at a parent after called my child a buzzkill?"
We live in a small town, there is a single school for our area. The rules for the school is if you are handing out invites at school everyone in the class must be invited. If you want to exclude some people than you send the invites in the mail. Cindy is having a pool party in two weeks for her birthday.
Her parents sent her to school with the invites and she handed them out before school started. Basically, everyone in the class is invited besides my daughter. Since it was handed out before school everyone knows my daughter is not invited, my daughter is in first grade so 6 years old. My daughter is a rule follower and she does tattle on people to the teacher often.
She is learning to mind her business but has trouble with it when they do something she thinks is wrong. She is also pretty cautious for a kid and will tell people to not run around a pool and whatnot. I called up Cindy's mom and asked if there was a mistake since my daughter came home upset. She told me no and that she is not invited due to my daughter being a bossy buzzkill.
That she would ruin the party. I lost it and called her a cruel person to exclude one of her kids friends for being more cautious. She hung up on me after called me an a*s. My husband told me that I shouldn't have called and that Cindy's mom is correct about our kid being bossy and that this is a lesson for her to learn. AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
FormulaZR wrote:
YTA. I guess they should have mailed the invites, I see why your daughter wasn't invited. Also seems that it may be a learned trait.
im-tired_smh wrote:
YTA. It would have been better for your daughter not to know she was excluded, but these are young, excitable kids...she probably would have found out about this party regardless of how the invitations were distributed. If the other parents violated some school policy, then take it up with the school and let them handle it how they see fit.
It's not your job to enforce the rules.Your husband knows how your daughter is. Even YOU know how your daughter is, based on your own minimizing statements. Let this be a teaching moment for your daughter: It is also not her job to enforce the rules.
the-unbino-dino wrote:
Is anyone else kinda upset at the comments? You guys are talking about a literal child who is probably 6 or 7 years old. Acting like she deserves to be excluded/punished for her behaviour and that she needs to be 'taught a lesson'. I was this kid too and I'm probably just projecting but the comments are making a lot of awful assumptions about her. ESH, I just wanna give her a hug.
gramsknows wrote:
YTA the parent should not have sent invites to school, however, this is the consequence of being bossy and a tattle take other kids are not going to want to be friends with you. The fact that even the day called his daughter bossy and a tattle tale tells me you are 100 percent downplaying how bad your daughter is.
It’s the little girl's party she can invite who she wants. By calling out the parent you just made things a 100 percent worse.
Constellation-88 wrote:
NTA. Party kid's mom should have followed the rules and mailed the invites. No child deserves public shaming because she is still learning social skills. This woman also should not call a child a bossy buzzkill. People need to speak about and to children with respect.
That said, I hope you're working with your child to build social skills. Kids don't just pick these up by accident. They need explicit instruction in socializing and regulating their emotions.
Laines_Ecossaises wrote:
YTA. That rule is stupid. Mailing them is not going to stop kids from finding out they weren't invited or prevent hurt feelings, particularly in a small town. Time for some self-reflection, your daughter learned this behavior from you and it is doing her no favors.
There is a difference between following rules and feeling like you have to be the one enforcing them. Poor little 1st grader is wound pretty tight. Deal with that before starting fights with other parents.
After receiving a lot of vary feedback, OP shared an upset update:
It astounds me how many people think publicly excluding a six-year-old is okay and then straight-up insulting them is fine. She could of mailed the invites. Everyone was invited besides my daughter and another kid but he hasn't been in school for a while due to a family emergency.
I'm going to get off this post, my plan is to take my kid to the science museum and have a nice day out, probably invite her bestie. Also wishing death upon someone makes you much worse morally than me.