Religious dad kicks out lesbian daughter and GF because GF calls him 'homophobe.'

'AITA for kicking my lesbian daughter and her GF out of my house for being freeloaders?'

My (48, M) daughter (21, F), 'K', and her girlfriend (22, F), 'Anastasia', have been living with me since Anastasia lost her job during the pandemic and they couldn't afford to live together alone.

I let them live with me because I love K a lot, but Anastasia and I have a tense relationship, now I'm a fairly religious Christian but I am open-minded and don't hate LGBTQ+ people, but I don't think she understands that or she chooses not to, as she sometimes accuses me of homophobia when she gets angry, which hurts me a lot because K is my world and I wouldn't dare do that.

Anastasia has been a bad influence on K. My daughter has become very different recently, she gets extremely heated when talking about politics, which is extremely strange to me as she never used to be concerned with politics before, she even used to joke a lot about people who take politics too seriously being stupid.

Anastasia has been living with us up until now, but she's barely bothered to help me with utility bills or food costs, and I do know she has an okay paying job now, and should have already moved out with what her and K make, but I guess its easier to save money by freeloading off me.

I've put up with this because I understood Anastasia's position, but now that K has changed so much because of her, I feel like she is taking my daughter away from me and changing her.

That leads us to yesterday, Anastasia came back home with K after a party and I'm pissed since we had relatives coming and I told K to be there. I tell Anastasia that I'm can't believe she dragged K with her to the party even though I specifically asked K to stay so we could meet with family, the argument escalated and I'm not okay with sharing what happened in it, but it got pretty heated.

Anastasia fell on her old excuse, and she insulted me by calling me homophobic again, at this point I'm done with her shit and I'm offended that she thinks this just because of my religious affiliation, I shoot back at her and say that I'm sorry but she has to leave my house in 2 weeks or else I'll get her evicted, K seems shocked I said that.

Now this is the part I may be the AH, I tell her she's she's freeloader and has only been using my generosity to her advantage and has been manipulating K. K yells at me and she says that if Anastasia's getting out then she's leaving too, I tell her I'm fine with that and I don't want to ever see Anastasia ever again.

I'm writing this in my break right now, and my family is messaging me saying that I went too far and should not have gone so far to kick them both out when it is almost Christmas, but in my opinion, they can both support themselves and have been freeloading off me for a while now. So AITA?

Here's how people judged OP:

Time_is_time_was writes:

I think this is probably more about you not liking your daughter's partner, rather than homophobia.

It was telling that you blamed Anastasia for making your daughter miss your family gathering. Your daughter is an adult. She should have taken responsibility and made sure she turned up. You should have been having that argument with your daughter.

Re politics, at 21 it's very very normal for someone to start getting more interested in politics. Again, that's not Anastasia's fault.

When a child starts to change, it's very easy for the parents to blame their child's partner, rather than accept their child is changing and making choices the parent doesn't agree with.

ionlyreadtitle writes:

Yta. Giving her only 2 weeks to move out, in the middle of winter, on Christmas.

And it sounds like you really do have a problem with them being lesbians. There is definitely a reason why she calls you homophobic that you are leaving out here.

August850 writes:

YTA. You seem to be holding a big grudge against Anastasia, beyond what's justified by the information provided. Why jump to calling her a 'freeloader' when you don't mention having asked her to pay rent? Why blame Anastasia for K going to a party? In what way is Anastasia 'manipulating' K?

And look, you say you are 'open minded and don't hate LGBTQ people'-- there is a world of difference between 'don't hate' and 'respect and treat equally'. If Anastasia keeps saying that you are acting homophobic, I believe her.

TaraMarie90 writes:

I mean, considering OP is upset that K is talking about politics, I assume the accusations of homophobia come from OP supporting conservative politicians who oppose LGBTQ rights.

megwach writes:

I also want to know if Anastasia was invited. If they’re dating, and living together, then K and Anastasia should be invited together. Since the dad seems to hate Anastasia, I bet she was excluded. If I was K, and my significant other wasn’t included, I wouldn’t go either.