SAHM is angry at husband who lost job due to depression, is she wrong?
When this woman is mad at her husband, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for being angry at my depressed spouse who lost their job?'
So my (F39) and spouse (M47) had a great job. WFH good salary, great benefits. We have a great house and four kids all under 16. Spouse has history of depression but is under a doctors care.
The last year or so he started giving up working, spending most days taking naps or going golfing.
I am a SAHM and we depend on his salary to live. I have told him numerous times that he can’t work like this because he could lose his job. I offered to help with the work or do anything that could increase his productivity.'
His boss fame gave him SO MANY chances to redeem himself and he would be excited for a bit, but the old habits soon enough resurfaced and it was back to missing meetings and assignments.
Well as the title states, he got fired for not doing his job. We have bills that are pilling up, kids to feed, not to mention Santa is coming soon. COBRA insurance is insanely expensive but health care is a must.
We are burning through our savings and I’m getting extremely nervous. He’s applying for jobs, but nothing has come through.
So - AITA if I am angry and tell him so? I told him this would happen so many times and begged him to get his act together.
I’m worried that if I express my anger it will only add to the stress he is under. I’m not sure what to do and I guess I am asking for advice and seeing if I am out of line.
I have a job working nights to early morning teaching online. But it’s not enough to pay the mortgage.
Some of my kids are not school aged and the others I teach at home. I have depression and anxiety that I’m dealing with as well. AITA for wanting to tell him he messed up?
Let's find out.
catacomb writes:
NTA for feeling angry and resentful. In fact, it would be crazy if you were not upset that he has put your whole family at risk.
You would only be the AH if you acted on that anger. Right now he needs support to get him back on track mentally and jobwise.
But it is okay for you to feel your feelings. Take care of yourself; you are carrying a lot of weight right now.
Also, do not describe yourself as a SAHM. It sounds like you homeschool your kids and working part time as an online tutor. You are a working parent.
sheratom2 disagrees:
YTA. Your husband has an untreated illness. He may be under a doctor's care but the treatment or lack of treatment is not helping.
He expressed depression and stress many times and then did what a lot of people with depression do, he gave up. Would you be pissed if he had cancer and lost his job?
As for what to do, apply for employment to start. Encourage him to seek help in whatever way he needs (therapy, medication etc) outside of what his doctor is currently doing.
Apply for benefits if need be. Down size your home, cars etc. Apply for help with Christmas.