Teen records sister taking out dentures, humiliates her, parents kick him out of house.

One of the hardest tasks in parenting is figuring out how to properly punish and teach a kid after they've crossed a major line. If you just give them harsh consequences with no real talk about why what they did was wrong, and better ways to channel their energy in the future, then you might risk retaliation or confusion.

But if you merely talk and don't show that negative actions lead to negative consequences, then they might walk away learning they can do whatever they want unscathed. All this is to say, finding the proper recourse for destructive behavior can be really complicated.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she's wrong for sending away her 16-year-old son after he recorded his sister without her consent and humiliated her in front of her friends.

She wrote:

AITA for sending our son away after he revealed to his sister's friends that she has dentures?​​​​​

My husband and I have a 14-year-old daughter and a 16-year-old son. When our daughter was eight, she developed a very rare mouth infection that just absolutely devastated her teeth and gums. She ended up losing all her teeth in both sets, and had to have some corrective work done just so she could have regular dentures.

Obviously, this was very traumatic for her, and she's still in therapy to help cope to this day. Our daughter is understandably very self-conscious about this. None of her friends knew about them, in fact, nobody besides her doctor and dentist know outside the family, she doesn't want people to know.

She's very worried about people finding out, and won't even take her teeth out in front of the rest of us, she's worried someone will see. Her and her brother had a good relationship until he did what he did last week. He somehow recorded her taking out her teeth without her noticing, and then showed all her friends when they were over.

Not only have they all turned on her, but half the school is teasing her nonstop, she even had to change her phone number because dozens of kids were texting her the most vile things imaginable. I have never been more ashamed of one of my children until that moment, I don't know where we went wrong raising him, but apparently, he thought it would be funny.

After I kicked out her 'friends' who were mocking her and helped her through a panic attack, I called my father to pick him up, and told him to pack a bag and get the f**k out. He's been staying with my parents two towns over, they didn't know what happened until two days ago. That came up because driving him to school was becoming a hassle, and they wanted to know what was up.

When I explained they were disgusted, but still wanted to know when they could bring him home. I asked them if they'd take care of registering him for school in their town, and they agreed but were shocked. My husband and I talked, and we just cannot have him here. His sister hates him, we're so ashamed we can't even think of calling him.

It sounds awful but I don't think our relationship can recover from this, and maybe this is what he needs. No friends, no family aside from his grandparents, having to start over might just set him right. My parents are willing to keep him until he's 18, but think we're too emotionally charged to be making this decision now.

The thread quickly filled up with people's opinions on the matter.

needtoknowbasis92 wrote:

What he did was vile, and he deserves a harsh punishment for what he did to his sister. However, I don't think the punishment issued fits the crime. You can't just throw your son away, and you CAN come back from this. It will take a lot of therapy for all of you, but it can happen. I honestly don't know how to judge this post though...

akr_0429 had a pressing question:

ESH. Of course he shouldn’t have embarrassed his sister but without more details this is an overreaction. Does he realize what he has done wrong and wants to make amends? You can’t just throw a child out because they made a mistake.

And OP responded in the thread:

No, he still doesn't seem to understand from what I'm told. All he said after the fact was he thought it was funny, and I haven't spoken to him since he left.

Loserinprogress wrote:

Both children need to speak to a therapist immediately. Your son was so wrong in his actions. Why did he do this? You need to get him help immediately. Why would he choose to humiliate your daughter...his own sister this way? Now to your daughter... she will need major support and unconditional love at this time. Kids are so cruel!

I can only imagine the bullying and torment she must be going through. Switch her schools if necessary. Get her therapy. Of course, punish your son. He deserves it. No this is not overly extreme. What he did is inexcusable. He can come home when his sister feels safe around him. Also a 16-year-old boy recording a girl, his sister or not is a huge red flag. Get your son help. NTA.

dibblechibbs wrote:

ESH except your daughter. Your son was a s**t, but 16-year-olds are s**ts in general. You should definitely punish him but kicking him out of your house is cruel.

ThinkSkirt8708 wrote:

YTA. He’s your son and he’s a kid. Kids make mistakes. ADULTS make mistakes too. You’ve effectively disowned your kid instead of just teaching them a lesson. If you continue doing what you’re doing, don’t be surprised if your son keeps up no contact when he’s older and wants nothing to do with you.

Merlin_KilgarrahS565 wrote:

From what I've read OP it's going to be ESH. But most importantly, from what i've gleaned from the way you write about your daughter is that you're protective of her, which raises the question, is she your favorite child ? Do you spend more attention on her and more time with her, be there more emotionally for her and support her?

I'm gonna hazard a guess and say yes because of your reaction. Nuclear destruction of your family, abandoning one kid and throwing him out without care or consideration. No one goes that level if it doesn't involve their favorite.

What your son did was an AH move, no doubt. Kids are little s**ts but they are kids! It's up to the parents to guide and teach them but to banish him? Abandon him to your parents? Why? You can't unmake a kid. He needs to go to therapy and so do you.

It's pretty clear that while the internet agrees OP's son made a horrible choice, they don't think OP is handling it in a healthy way for the long-term.