Woman feels betrayed when her mom skips her graduation for sister's labor. AITA?
When high school grad feels abandoned by her own mother, she asks Reddit:
'AITA…. For feeling abandoned by my mom on my graduation day because she stayed with my sister that went into labor?'
I (18 F ) just graduated high school recently. I had initially planned for my mother, my father and his wife, one of my nephews and 2 of my siblings to be at my graduation. I wanted my mom there especially because I was graduating with honor and because I was in student council. I wanted her to be proud of me be there to cheer me on.
Here’s where my other sister, we’ll call her Layla(23) comes in, who was 8 months pregnant and was waiting for when ever the baby was ready to come. Layla was originally supposed to have her baby in her city as a natural at home birth.
She already had her midwife and medical care planned in her city so she was really excited to have her baby soon. I was happy too, excited to have a new niece soon.
The problem arose when the day before my graduation she rushed to my moms house knowing she was in labor and just decided on having the baby in our city at a hospital.I had no problem with this at first. She was already in labor and was 2 cm dilated. I was thinking she would have the baby that day.
I was helping her out like massaging her back, getting her food and even ran her a bath. The day was getting later and she still hasn’t left for the hospital yet, even though her pain was getting worse. But little after 12am my sister and my mother left for the hospital.
With it being that late I went to sleep thinking I would wake up a hear that the baby was here. But that didn’t happen, I woke up and my mother wasn’t in the house. She’s probably still at the hospital I thought and went on to get dress.
I didn’t really have time to call her and check in cause I had to be at my graduation really early. Then I get a call from my mom saying my dad was picking me up to take me to my graduation and that she wouldn’t be going so that she could say with my sister. Layla was still 2 cm dilated.
I cried but I understand why she stayed. I had to stop myself from crying and got dressed. Went to my graduation and had fun after. The main thing that made me feel some type of way was that my sister knew that it was the day before my graduation and still decided to come and give birth here. She didn’t even have actual give birth until like 6 pm that afternoon, my graduation was from 8 to 12am.
To make matters worse my other siblings think my mother is in the wrong which caused arguments with them. My mother herself has apologized and cried because she too felt like she abandoned me when I needed her but at the same time she picked what to her felt like the right decision in that time.
I have no issue with anyone, but Layla has started to say slick comments like she feels like I’m being fake to her and that she needed mommy more than I did. Claiming that everyone chooses my side because I’m the spoiled baby of the family.
I just ignore her comments and focus on my niece who is just the cutest little thing ever. Even after Layla comments and kicking me out of her hospital room after me and my other sister(19) brought her food and things she need for the baby, I still wanted to help and be around my niece.
It’s be weeks since my graduation but this feeling of abandonment isn’t going away. Again I’m not mad at my sister or my mom, I’m just upset about the situation. Does the way I feel make me the a$$hole?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
quiethamster99 writes:
NAH however unfortunately, your mother did the right thing. Giving birth is never danger free. If you can, you should always have someone there for not just support, but that can make some calls on what will happen if the mother is incapacitated and a life and death situation comes up.
A 'normal' labour can turn into a dangerous one very quickly. It's sad that you weren't able to have her there during your important moment but it is what it is.
memyselfi009 writes:
NAH, but your mum did the right thing. Sounds like your sister had no one else with her, and labour is scary and hard. You need support and someone with you, if only to advocate for you if/when you can't.
The only reason I haven't gone with Y T A I'd be because you sound like you are sympathetic to your sister. However, you should tell your other siblings to back off. It's not fair to your sister to be attacked (which is what it sounds like is happening) for not wanting to go through something as dangerous, scary, and painful as labour alone.
Babies do not follow a schedule, and things can go south far too easily and quickly. If something horrific had happened and your mum had been at your graduation instead of with her... it doesn't bear thinking about...
Don't guilt your mum or your sister. If the situation were reversed, your mum would have been an AH to go to the a graduation over staying with the sibling giving birth.
loreo111 writes:
NTA. It's over and your sister is still dragging it out with her talk of you being spoiled causing you to still have feelings of abandonment. How about you ask your mom if you and she can have a private time together to make up for the missed graduation? Not the same to be sure, but a little step towards making up with mom.