'Woman angry BF won't split hospital bills for pregnancy; says, he needs the money.'
"AITA? Boyfriend doesn’t want to split hospital bills after having a baby?"
My boyfriend and I just had a baby a couple of months ago. Since then things have been rocky and I am feeling very hurt and I think he may be feeling the same way. We have been working hard to try and make this work, but keep arguing about things money, sleep and not feeling recognized for our contributions.
When I was about 4 months pregnant, I sat my boyfriend down to have a discussion about my maternity leave. I wanted for us to both be on the same page about how long I would be taking and that I would not be paid while on maternity leave. We agreed that I would take 12 weeks of maternity leave and that was our plan.
A few weeks before our baby came, my boyfriend and I spoke about the upcoming events and I told him that I was going to need help paying rent. He became upset, I apologized for the miscommunication and then he helped me pay rent for the 12 weeks that I was on maternity leave.
So he made 3 rent payments. Now, awhile later, our hospital bills have arrived and he informed me last minute that he will not be splitting them with me because he helped me with rent.
Even though every discussion we’ve had leading up to this, even after my leave already started, we agreed that we would split them. My boyfriend makes six figures and three times my annual salary… Well he did, but he quit his tech job to spend more time with us on maternity leave.
But that actually turned into him starting his own business which is another reason that he is complaining to me that he can’t afford to pay the hospital bills that we have both been aware of for some time now.
AITA for being upset that he is bailing on me last minute for splitting the hospital bills? I want to support him with his career and dreams, but this feels unfair. Am I the asshole for thinking that this is unfair of him after he helped me with my rent while I was on maternity leave?
Let's see what readers had to say.
okcontext88 writes:
NTA. But sheesh, him quitting while you have a newborn and on an unpaid leave was a terrible decision.
Also, what miscommunication? You decided, together, to take 3 months off. How else did he think he think the rent was going to be paid, lol? He lives there too so how does him paying rent have anything to do with the hospital bill for birthing HIS CHILD?!
he should help. Look into financial assistance though through their Billing department. Most hospitals have plans where, depending on your income, your bill can be significantly reduced, based on your income. They just don't advertise it.
jeeperscreepers9 writes:
NTA. Let's rewind for a moment. You sat your boyfriend down months in advance of your due date to talk about maternity leave and to prepare him for the fact that you would be without any income for a few months.
You also reminded him of this a few weeks before baby. Meanwhile, he ups and quits his 6-figure job to start a new business without really consulting you. Why did it take the hospital bills to make you realize this is an inequitable relationship? Figure out how you are going to support yourself and your baby because this guy isn't it.
roamsoaked6 writes:
I will never understand why adults can’t adult. Quit his job with a baby on the way? That’s such an AH move. Also 12 weeks is really not much time to recover. You’re NTA OP and your boyfriend needs to choose between helping you now or having to pay court mandated child support.