'AITA for calling the police if my stepson doesn't bring the car back in 20 mins?' UPDATE
Here's her story, and it has some interesting updates...
"AITA for giving my stepson a 20 minute time limit to return my car before I phone the police?"
I am a 34F doctor, and part of my job entails being on-call for one to three nights a week, twice a month.
My fiance Dale 30M has been saving with my stepson's mom to buy him a car for Christmas. My stepson Rex 16M has a license already but always has to borrow his mom's station wagon or his dad's beat-up pickup truck. His mom's car is 'lame and embarrassing', and his dad's can only hold one passenger. Not practical for a teen.
On to the main conflict...
Rex texted me yesterday around 12 if he could borrow my car after school. His friends wanted to go to the mall but the bus route is too long, could they borrow my car? I texted back a sorry but no, I am on call again. Can you ask your mom?
He says no. I told him sorry but my answer is still no. I'm sure you will find a solution. Ask your friends and you can all figure it out.
'If you see where this is going, you are less shocked than I am.'
I was up in my home office (the room where I keep my Switch, sewing machine, and laptop, so not an official office) when I heard Rex and his friends downstairs after school. I was going to see if they needed anything but they left after a few minutes.
An hour later, I went to the kitchen, cleaning up the empty bottles and wrappers from their snacks, I saw the spot where I left my keys empty, I began to panic.
'First I bolted to the door. My car was gone.'
Immediately dialed my stepson. He picks up and it's obvious he's in a mall store that plays loud music. I told him to get his a** home NOW, and he laughed and said that I am not his mom. He'll be home whenever he pleases.
I'm not proud but I told him that he has 20 minutes to get home or I call the police and report it stolen. Rex panics and said he couldn't find all his friends and drive home in 20 minutes. Told him tough shit.
'10 minutes later I get a text that he is in the mall parking lot and will be home soon.'
I phoned Rex's mom and informed her of his stunt. She was madder than me when I told her that I was on-call. She apologized and promised to talk with Rex and Dale ASAP. Rex came in, threw me my keys, locked himself in his room.
Dale finally came home around 8 and said he had been on the phone with his ex. He DEMANDED to know why I punished his son.
I put my foot down and explained I am on-call, that means I need my car. Rex stole my car. Dale disagrees. His ex agrees with me and decided she will not be buying Rex a car anytime soon due to his entitlement.
Dale thinks that I am making a big deal out of nothing. I didn't end up going into work so why did I have to threaten Rex? I have only gone in twice this year while on-call. Just because nothing happens doesn't mean that I am always clear.
Rex is now grounded. Fiance barely speaks to me. Asks me when I'm going in today (I'm not) and if I will apologize. I am not budging and am still pissed he doesn't get it. AITA?
Edits:
Dale is 30 not 29, but yes he was 14 when Rex was born. Don't get hung up on this, it isn't about teen parents. Rex's mom was 15 when they had him and is the best mom if you ask me. She's who introduced me to Dale.
I am going to have a very frank discussion with Dale tonight. Rex is with his mom so he won't be in the middle or get involved. Kid still wouldn't look at me and called me a bitch who won't let him get his own car now.
You think I could have ruined my stepson's life? I could have lost my job because of his selfish actions. If I am on-call and don't respond then someone might DIE.
Rex's self-centered attitude could have caused way more harm than he realizes. He thinks that I have it easy sitting around waiting for work to call me in. It is NOT easy, I am constantly glued to my phone to make sure that I don't miss a call. I cannot relax on these days.
I am not off or on vacation. I have to be ready to drop everything, change into my scrubs, and be out of the house within minutes. So when I noticed that my car was missing, I could do absolutely nothing. In my head, I was jobless with an oncoming lawsuit.
You think this was 'just a teenage rebellious stunt'? It was Rex being an entitled little pr*ck.
Update
So apparently, Dale reads through this subreddit on his work breaks. He texted me a link to my post during his dinner break.
A short time later I first received a call from Rex's mom, who said that Dale called her and ranted about how I made him look bad online. She told him that she didn't give a f**k, because he did not react the way a good parent should. Dale was so furious that he told her that he would be calling his mother to see if someone actually cared about his feelings.
Dale's mother handed his ass back to him GOOD. And reiterated to Dale that he was not an active part in his son's life until he was 6, so he has no leg to stand on. Dale tried to b*tch about how everyone was being unfair to him, she shut him up and told him that his son did something wrong and this is not about punishing him for being a bad father.
Dale returned home a little while ago, about an hour earlier than he usually does. He looked defeated but he was still short with me. Said he was disappointed that I posted and now everyone who knows will think he's a joke and a bad father.
I didn't think this conversation would end up with my ending the engagement and relationship, but it did. The house is all in my name, so Dale is packing up his sh*t and crawling back to his mom's house.
'The wedding wasn't set so no money or time lost there.'
Dale said so many things that I don't even want to write down. This is not the man who I have known for 4 years and I am honestly shocked at how selfish he is. He said my doctor money would have to buy Rex a car to make up for all of the hard feelings. I am astonished at how delusional he is.
I am done with this account and will not be returning. Also, the fact he wasn't in Rex's life till age 6 was a huge red flag to me. He never mentioned it and refused to admit it was a big deal during the argument we had when he came home.
Comments:
It's crazy to me that anyone could be defending the kid or the dad. Like. Do people not understand 'she is a doctor and people could DIE if she can't get to work'? If the son and his friends wanted to go to the mall so bad, they could take an Uber.
We all know a Dale (entitled man child). It's just a small chance we know that particular Dale.
He's teaching his son it's okay to be disrespectful to women, not just people.