Woman charges BF and his daughter $1K after leaving her house 'in ruins.' AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for sending BF a bill for $1000 after him and his kid are all our food?"
I've been seeing "Jack" for 2 years now but we live separately due to the kids and just wanting to make sure this is 100% all in before uprooting them. I have 2 sons (13yo twins) and 1 daughter (11).
He has 1 daughter (13). We do weekend stays together twice a month so far and there's never been any major issues honestly. The girls have gotten in to a few petty arguments but other than that, no big problems.
I spend around $1000 a month in food and that covers me and my kids + Jack and his daughter for the two visits a month. I do a lot of meal prep and couponing.
Last month my mother asked me and my kids to go to her place in Louisiana to help her move out of her home and into a 50+ community.
It made me feel more comfortable to have my house occupied in my absence to keep the dehumidifiers and everything running (huge moisture issues and I don't want anything to mold or rust) so I asked Jack if he and his daughter wanted to stay at my place for 2 weeks in our absence to keep everything running smoothly.
I gave it a 2 week time frame but was unsure of how long it would actually take. I knew the drive alone would be 2 days there and 2 days back. He agreed. I did my monthly shop before leaving and spent $1,092. I told them they could have some of my food when we were gone so maybe this is my fault.
But anyways, we got back 2 days ago (4 days before the 2 week mark) and found my house in ruin, practically.
Dirty dishes on the counters and table, dirty clothes throughout the living room and bedrooms (mine and my daughters- where they slept). I keep my house clean so this caused a lot of panic on my end (grew up in a hoarder house so I take pride in a clean home).
But the one thing that truly tipped me over the edge was finding that they went through at least 90% of the food I bought before leaving, in less than 2 weeks.
We were left with a single pack of hamburger, all the veggies and a few boxes of pasta. Jack started scrambling when we entered the home, saying "sorry, I was gonna clean before you got back but I didn't expect you so soon".
I just gave a hushed "please leave". He and his daughter left. But after giving it some thought, I told him he had to reimburse us the $1000 worth of food that he and his daughter ate. I told him their intake was absolutely repulsive.
That I said he could have some, not eat everything in the house and leave us with nothing.
He said that he had allowed his kid to have her friends over and they are a lot but he shouldn't have to give me $1000, given that I told him they could eat the food. That I have more than enough money (true) and he doesn't (also true). I still want to be reimbursed however. And yes, we split up. AITA?
UPDATE: this may make me sound bad but I wouldn't consider him house sitting as doing me any favors. All he has to do was dump out the dehumidifier when it got full. I could have asked my neighbor to do that for $200.
He and his daughter live in a small apartment and coming to my house feels like a vacation to them (their words, not mine). I have a 2 story home with 6 bedrooms on the beach, with a hot tub, a game room, cable and high speed internet.
They were essentially getting a free vacation and the only thing they had to do was dump the dehumidifier once a day. I more or less asked for the $1000 based off principle alone. I don't expect him to give me the money.
But since he was not understanding my viewpoint on my it was acceptable, I asked him for the $1000 so he could open his eyes and understand how big of a deal it truly is.
hrsmile writes:
NTA, but I think you chalk this up to a learning experience. You told him to eat your food and he did. That he ate more than your ambiguous instruction is not really something to pursue, especially since he was housesitting as favor.
He is an AH though for being trashy and letting a bunch of strangers in your house. I just don't see how this is worth it to pursue. What do you think you will actually get out of this other than his continued involvement in your life and more bitterness? Do you think you can actually recover money from you if he tells you to take a hike?
toproof2834 writes:
NTA. Not only did they trash your home, he allowed for his daughter to have FRIENDS (not just 1) without asking you. You just got a good glimpse of what your future looks like if you live with man and his daughter.
He is responsible for the grocery bill. Send him the bill. Remind him that it was HE who allowed his daughter and friends to consume all of your food so he should replace it. You don’t deserve and neither do your kids.
headastornomer writes:
NTA, maybe you should give him a bill for the $1000, like $750 for food and $250 for the cleaning bill.