Woman demands MIL not get married on her daughter's birthday. AITA? UPDATED.
When this woman is furious with her overbearing MIL stealing the spotlight, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not wanting my MIL to get married on my daughters birthday?"
My daughter was born sept.20, 2022. My MIL got engaged recently, and her anniversary is sept.20, 2021. She wants to have her wedding on sept.20, 2025 which would be my daughter’s 3rd birthday.
I don’t really like the idea of it, considering we wouldn’t be able to celebrate her 3rd birthday on the actual day. And going forward, her anniversary will be the same day, and I feel like she would rather celebrate that instead.
We also go to Disney world for my daughter’s birthday, so we aren’t typically even in the same state during this time (MIL knows this). I don’t know if I should say something?
She did text me saying “I hope you’re ok with me choosing the wedding date for September 20”, and I want to say something back but not sure if I should? Please be honest but be nice lol thanks for your opinions!
UPDATED: this is my first time ever posing and I realized I should have been more detailed. My husband does feel the exact same way as I do. This is her second wedding. She had an affair and cheated on my husbands father with the person she is now engaged to.
Who my MIL is marrying is a factor as well…So she is now marrying her affair partner. I didn’t even realize their anniversary date is September 20, until a week ago. So basically her “anniversary date” is the day her affair started. Since she was sneaking around with this guy, she never announced an anniversary date until just now.
Also, when I said we typically go to Disney world for her birthday every year, I meant we go that same week in September every year, and have done so since 2018. (Except for 2022 because I was giving birth lol) My daughter just happened to be born that same time.
Let's see what readers thought.
boostedj writes:
A lot of assumptions here. OP's convenient edit never mentioned the affair breaking up the family and we have 0 information on the dymic between MIL and FIL. You just assumed MIL nuked the family and FIL is a nice person.
You may be right but could also be wrong. We don't know. Regardless, that's actually irrelevant to what the OP is asking. OP YTA. As others have said, not for not wanting to go. But for everything else. Just don't attend.
cursingchristian writes:
OP is NTA. Why in hell would anyone want to celebrate their MIL's union to her side piece who destroyed the FIL's life which impacts your spouse's wellbeing as well?! I, too, would come up with any silly ass excuse to avoid this trainwreck. Kudos to you for putting effort into your reason. You are a much better person than I.
OP, I hope you and your spouse enjoy whatever you all choose to do or not do on this date. We need to hold each other accountable. The audacity of your MIL to hold a hellified wedding and pick a day that's already taken within the family.
One year or 99, we're not skipping my child's celebration for goofy ass reasons. The MIL knows she was out of line, which is why she asked you about the date. I would have gave her philandering ass an ear full.
And no it's not judging her for her actions yet holding her accountable for the bullshit she has stirred up in HOW she chose to end her marriage. She's an asshole because she could have done so in a better way without destroying and embarrassing her family.
shelwood76 writes:
Also does she think her MIL is going to have mandatory anniversary parties going forward because that is not a thing. It sounds like they might have to reschedule one Disney trip, or not because it also sounds like her husband doesn't want to go to the wedding anyway so what even is the problem? YTA