'AITA for preventing my nephew from seeing his mom one last time before she passed?'
"AITA for preventing my nephew from seeing his mom one last time before she passed?"
I (49f) lost my sister, Penny from cancer in 2021. During her hospital stays, she was allowed 1 visit at a time with a 5 max (Covid restrictions). When it was nearing the end, we had a Covid spike so it was down to three visitors per day.
The day of Penny’s passing, Penny’s husband Frank told me the visit limitations. Frank had told me the visits were meant for specific people that day (Tina’s children: Ron, Cam, and Drew (all adults) and her best friend Tiffany.
Frank had counted towards the three visit maximum that day. I went to visit Penny because I had some things I needed to tell her. Tiffany came and asked why I was there. I yelled at her and said “that’s MY sister!”
Tiffany got upset and left. Drew then tried to sign in and he couldn’t because the maximum of visits were reached. I get a call from Frank saying I needed to leave because you ruined Ron, Cam, and Drew’s chance to visit Penny.
She’s my sister and I deserve to see her just as much as my nephew’s do. She wound up passing away later that night.
When I tried talking to Drew after leaving the hospital, he yelled at me saying I’m an AH for preventing him to see his mom one last time before she went unconscious from all the meds.
I began to feel awful, but you just don’t know how to plan for things like this. Penny was my sister and I still needed time with her too. So AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
YTA...You were told who the visits were for. Children come before siblings. Sorry, but that's the truth.
AITAAuntieThrowaway OP responded:
Yeah I get that, but it’s not like we knew she was going to die. That’s not my fault
You put yourself in a position to hear people's takes on the situation, you don't get to then decide that it's not your fault and that you are absolved of guilt. I think you were perhaps looking for people to assuage your guilt, but YTA op.
You were told SPECIFICALLY who would be going there, regardless of whether or not you knew she was going to die, you went against a plan in place that ultimately ended up permanently hurting HER CHILDREN.
ughshut writes:
YTA. A selfish one too. You were literally told who was allowed to visit that day and completely disregarded it. What makes you more important than her own child? Good Lord, you deserve to be yelled at. And cut off from them. Disgusting.
chancead89 writes:
YTA, big time. You are second place to her children in every scenario. Especially in a circumstance like this. I would have a really, really hard time ever forgiving you if I was in your brother- in-law and nephew's position.
sugarandspice writes:
YTA. Perhaps the biggest one here. That’s quite an accomplishment. To prioritise yourself over her children… to take away their chance to say goodbye to their mother and take comfort in her being there one last time… I feel physically ill just reading about what you did. “But that’s my sister” and it’s their MOTHER.