Woman REFUSES to let sick MIL move into house. AITA?
When this wife and mother is annoyed with her husband's request, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to let sick mother-in-law move into my house?'
I am a mother of 4 children aging from 10 to 16 and I work in marketing. Our house is pretty decent in size each 2 of the 4 kids share a room , then my husband and I bedroom. So in total we have 3 sleeping rooms and no extras for sleeping.
My husband’s mother been sick for quite a while and she needs to be taken care of 24/7 that’s why my husband got her a personal nurse and caretaker.
Recently my husband been tired of paying the nurse and his mother’s rent to he suggested she moves in with us so he wouldn’t pay her rent and only pay for the nurse.
As I said our house is already packed with the 6 of us so bringing his mother AND the nurse would be 8 our house can’t handle that and we do not have enough rooms.
Also his mother cannot sit down she always has to lie in bed and we don’t have any possible extra bed or space to put a new bed in, husband suggested that she stays in my youngest kids room that only has 2 beds so my kids (10 and 12) to sleep on one bed while his mother takes the other one and I straight up refused and told him...
I won’t disturb my kids comfort like that and we still won’t have a place for the nurse. He told me I stay at home and quit my job so he can cut off the nurse and I take care of his mother. I told him how about he takes care of his mother and quit to stay at home and he said no.
She hasn’t moved in yet, I won’t allow it the house already feels small for us 6. Also I have 3 more brother-in-laws (one 1 of them lives alone and isn’t married) so my husband is not her only child yet he is the one who paid for the nurse and the rent...
alone I asked him to tell his brothers to help he refused his “pride” didn’t allow him to ask them for help but he was completely fine with asking me to quit my job so he wouldn’t pay for a nurse and to ask me to pack the house more because he can’t pay her rent.
This been going on for so long and he called me heartless for refusing her to move in I told him she can move in if we get ourselves a bigger house then he proceeded to call me ungrateful for what I have.
I don’t have a problem with her personally but I don’t wanna suffocate at home and don’t want to shove in 2 of my kids in one bed neither do I wanna quit my job. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
frosticing writes:
Absolutely NTA. 8 people into 3 bedrooms just doesn’t work, your kids are already doubled up and there’s just no room for her at the inn. I can’t believe he had the audacity to suggest you quit to be a full time carer for his mother, he’s the heartless one here, not you. The fact he didn’t even consider quitting himself to look after her speaks volumes as well.
witchwith writes:
NTA. I think something a little different is going on tho- your husband is sabotaging your plans to leave. Never tell someone when you're making an exit plan. Your husband is being bullish because he's trying to tie you to him and stop your career. He knows exactly what he's asking.
Honestly? Don't wait; move asap. He's likely to escalate. Go around him and talk to his brothers if you have to, but my feeling here is money's not actually the issue.
cocoasnez writes:
NTA. Funny how HE refuses to quit his job in order to care for his mother, it has to be you doing all the work. Funny how HE doesn't give up his bed (I get it, it's your bed too, and your room too, so it's not even possible), but it's the kids giving up their bed.
Funny how HE can't ask his brothers to chip in due to HIS pride, but you and your kids have to bend over backwards to make this happen.