Man asks if he's wrong to tell rich SIL to stop cooking 'extravagant' food for son.
Raising a kid is hard especially when money is tight. When this struggling dad is upset with his SIL she asks the popular Reddit forum:
'AITA for asking my SIL to stop cooking extravagant food for my son?
My(35M) son is 6 and has always been a picky eater. It's been especially hard since we're on food stamps and half our food comes from the food pantry. For the last 2 months, my SIL has been looking after him 3 afternoons a week and I'm so grateful, especially with how things are getting so expensive now.
So saving a bit on childcare means so much to me and she feeds him which helps too. The thing is, SIL is very well off and cooks quite extravagantly. We can't even afford the brand name mac+cheese but at aunt GG's they'll have homemade mac + cheese with a four-cheese mix.
When I serve him the boxes stuff, he wants pecorino sprinkled on top. I've never even tasted pecorino! My son used to love hotdogs, but now he's used real sausages. Tuna sandwiches were are go-to, but now he wants fresh fish. It's like this every meal, where I have to explain to him that we can't afford better food.
And he barely eats now, I can't get more than a few spoonfuls in him. When I drop him off, he runs to the kitchen where SIL's prepared a snack tray. If I'm early when picking him up, I see he's chowing down on dinner and I see him often licking the plate. So I know he's hungry!
The other day, he was talking about how the broccoli soup they had. Thought that might be something I could make, so I asked SIL for the recipe and made it for him. He ate 3 bowls for lunch and polished off the rest for dinner!
And parents would be happy seeing their kid eat a whole head of broccoli, but that cost me $12 worth of ingredients! A quarter of our weekly budget on soup! I've never cried so hard in my life. I can't even afford to make soup for my son!
The other day we were at my mom's. (brother, SIL, mom, me). I told SIL that I'm grateful but asked if she could cook less extravagantly. I suggested pasta with just a jar of sauce. She said she didn't want to cook separately for my son, that they'd have to eat this too.
I was taken back a bit and asked her what she meant by 'we'd have to eat this too' her exact words.
It felt like she was saying they're too good for pasta with sauce. And that's basically her answer, that she didn't want to eat that. I tried to explain my situation, how it's so much harder getter my son to eat now, but mom cut me off and we started talking about something else.
Later, my mom told me I should apologize to SIL that I was being an ungrateful AH to her. But I don't think I am, I'm grateful but she's made it so much harder for me to feed my son!
So Reddit, am I really in the wrong here? I want to have the conversation again with SIL, but my mom's words are making me feel like an AH. On the other hand, I'm really struggling to get my son to eat?
Well, let's see what Reddit had to say.
maybeawalrus writes:
YTA. You son have a chance to get to try different food that you can't provide, you should be glad he can. I get that it's harder for you after because he wants to eat fancy stuff, but he is 6. He should be able to understand that he can't always get what he wants. Time to do some parenting.
jollytooth74747 writes:
NTA. I do think you are in the wrong here, but you are far from an asshole. You are a struggling parent and you're trying your best.
Look, your SIL isn't an asshole in any way. She is looking after your child for free and doing a very good job at it, to help you out. She is feeding him lovely homemade meals that your son enjoys a lot. Healthy meals too, according to what you described.
Again, I don't think you are 'an ungrateful AH' for not appreciating this, not in context. If you weren't struggling to bring food to your table then yes, you would be an AH. You are putting the focus where it doesn't go, though.
maru373656 writes:
YTA. OP is obviously worried about budget but I get the feeling that he’s also a bit jealous. Frankly, what he is offering his kid has pretty much no nutritional value so he should try to find ways to improve his cooking -within reason.