Woman tells DIL she is a nuisance. Son is angry. AITA?
When this MIL is upset with her DIL, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for telling my DIL she is a nuisance and to stop touching my stuff?"
I talked to my son, they will be paying for all of the damage. I talked to her and told her to explain she has one chance why I shouldn’t kick her out. Well according to son/her she is off her medication.
My new conditions for her staying is she gets back on it and if she believes it’s not he right fit to go to the doctor. She left after screaming a bit. I don’t think she is coming back. My son is unsure if she will be back.
So that where we are. My son got married young, he literally went off to college for a semester and by Christmas got married. He dropped that bomb at Christmas.
Anyways she (21) is staying here and son for two month since their apartment is getting fixed, water break. At first it was fine but we are 17 day into this and it is awful.
She tried to help and she sucks at it. Her help just causes a ton more work for me. For example she wanted to clean the bathroom. She used an abrasive sponge and now the mirror is messed up.
She mopped when I was at work and she used boiling water and harsh chemicals and the stain lifted in some areas of the wood( I didn’t know you could do that)
I told her if she wants to clean so much just put things away. Well a few days ago she clean the living room and removed every cross in that room, that seriously pissed me off but I reiterated that to keep things in their room unless it’s is obviously in the wrong place.
Today I came home and she reorganized the whole kitchen, she moved all the pots, utensils, my table got moved. I told her she needs to put everything back and why she thought this was a good idea. She told me she didn’t like it so she fixed it.
We got in an argument over it where I called her a nuisance and to stop touching my stuff. She ended up crying and now my son is annoyed. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
atalein writes:
NTA, she is staying in your home for 2 months - temporarily. There is no need for her to reorganize ANYTHING to her liking or to "fix it". But more importantly, she should have asked you if it is okay to do this or not.
You are doing both of the a favor of harboring them during an emergency - that doesn't give either of them right to try and change how you live just because they don't like it. If they don't like it so much - find alternative accommodation.
ttpgisoo writes:
NTA. As to the helping, perhaps you could try to compromise with her. You see she wants to help and show appreciation for taking her in so here’s a list of things you could use help with (with directions maybe?), but let her know if you actually expect her to do them.
As to moving your things, be clear that it is your house and you have it the way you like it, and you are offering them the space until they can get back in their house where you will similarly respect their decor choices.
If you guys can’t find a compromise, I would consider a different living situation which should be clearly stated as wanting to maintain a good relationship. Not everybody can be good roommate combo.
mundaneplanet writes:
NTA. It's one thing to just...suck at cleaning to the point people tell you to stop helping, but it's another to very clearly make a show that you don't respect the thoughts or beliefs of your host.
I'm not religious, but I understand the clear insult in her removing all your crosses from an area, in your own home, and her whinging about how "she" doesn't like the current placement of things is just AH-ish.