'AITA for telling my mom friend that her co-sleeping arrangement is inappropriate?'
"AITA for telling my mom friend that her co-sleeping arrangement is inappropriate?"
I (30f) have had a friend (30f) for 10 years who currently cosleeps with her husband and child(ren). Cosleeping in this case means her, her husband, and their two kids all sleep in the same king size bed.
She shared that back when baby 1 was a newborn, her and her husband would sneakily have seggs when the baby was asleep in the bed with them. I found it odd, but the baby was super tiny so I didn’t think much more into it.
Fast forward to present day, and the couple has that same baby (obviously) who is now two years old, and also a less-than-one-year old that all sleep together in the same bed. She shared that her and her husband are still having “sneaky” seggs with the two kids/babies in bed with them when they’re asleep.
I told her I found that weird and inappropriate. They have furnished bedrooms for each of their children so space isn’t an issue. She was very offended and said that since I don’t have children I don’t have room to judge.
She knows I have had a year+ of fertility issues and also said it’s a good thing I can’t have kids because I’d be a bad mom anyway.
Last weekend she had our typical group of friends over to her house and didn’t invite me. I know this because it was plastered all over social media. When I asked her if we were cool she said she sent the invite to all of us in a Snapchat and that I must not have seen it, but I don’t buy that.
So I basically feel like the relationship is over and I’ve lost the friend group. I have several mom friends and know the importance of not giving my unsolicited opinion on a topic I can’t speak on, but this felt icky so I threw in my two cents. So…. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
stupidredditwebsite writes:
YTA, kids are asleep why does it matter. I would imagine you'll do far worse things than that as a parent to your own kids if you have them (sorry about the fertility stuff, we adopted and I would advocate that every time outside of the USA).
Having se% in the same room as a 2 yo and 0 to while they sleep is totally fine as long as you dont wake them. Se% isnt like what you watch on the internet, and is perfectly natural.
spimmydormroom writes:
Nta. What is wrong with this woman??? I can kinda see getting some sneaky freaky in while the kids under 1 (i wouldnt while theyre in the same bed personally thats kinda gross), and while they're not likely to remember at 2 either, they're a lot more cognizant.
You expressed a very reasonable discomfort with that fact and she threw not just 1 but several completely uncalled for low blows.
I hate to say but anyone that can switch to such severe personal attacks over a slight disagreement wasn't somebody that took you seriously as a friend in the first place. Don't believe that nonsense about snapchat and when your friends ask why you weren't around tell them the truth. They deserve to know they're hanging out with a 2 faced brat.
I'm sorry you're going through fertility struggles. It's definitely not easy thing to go through and I wish you all the best.
missepus writes:
ESH, you for getting hung up on her se% life, her for cutting you off over a difference of opinion.
As for whether she was wrong to co-sleep and have se% - there are many cultures where this would not be wrong, odd or surprising, so the rest of us should not try to judge. If you have to comment on it, tell her you really don't need to know.