Woman tells SIL that her OCD will give her young kids eating disorders. AITA?
When this woman is convinced that her SIL is damaging her children, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for blaming my SIL's kids food obsessions on SIL being controlling?"
My husband and I have three kids. Our boys are 9 and 8 and our girl is 6. SIL has an 8 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. My husband and I have always believed in exposing our kids to all foods, even junk, in moderation. We try to make food fun and to have it be something we enjoy.
So the kids can have a bar of chocolate after dinner and we won't ever stop them or judge them for wanting that. But they will also eat healthy dinners. Sometimes we even have a junk food day if there's a celebration or a busy day and we'll just skip a bit of treating for a while to make up for it.
Our kids are healthy, active and love food. They also help out with meal planning and food prep. They also drink soda and juice sometimes. Though lemon flavored water is a huge favorite in our home lol.
SIL from the moment she saw our oldest with a piece of fruit or candy judged us for it and she said we were going to have fat kids with many health problems. She said our then 3 year old should not know what McDonald's or pizza was, that they should not be able to debate different flavors of ice cream (our boys), that they didn't need to taste juices.
She is a very strict parent on food. No fruit, no junk, nothing processed, nothing sweet and no drinks outside of water (plain). She and my husband have actually fought over this stuff before because she wanted him to have her kids for a few hours and he told her he had already promised the kids pizza and would not change the plans because her kids were there.
Or because he brought up taking the kids Trick or Treating when her kids could hear. So SILs kids are now in school and they constantly ask for sweet stuff and have tried to buy the snacks their parents don't allow. SIL has been dealing with more tantrums in her home over it and the kids saying they hate their parents.
A couple of weeks ago we were at MIL and FILs house. SIL is quizzing my kids on stuff and at one point she was even trying to see what size clothes they wore.
I asked her what the hell she was doing and she ranted and raved about how my kids were eating (because they ate all the food at ILs house without a problem which was a veggie stir fry) while her kids refused to eat and wanted junk.
She said my kids should be 'fat little tubbos 'and it's not f%%$# normal. She goes off venting that her kids are obsessed with junk. I told her her being controlling was the reason for that and you cannot be so restrictive and expect the kids not to desire it.
I said junk is a part of life and teaching how to include it in a healthy way is better than letting them see everyone else enjoy what they can't. She asked how I could blame her. I told her she's wound tight about it and her kids go to school and know other kids are not as restricted. She told me to f%%% off. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
ilp8 writes:
NTA. Your SIL will cause her kids to have eating disorders. They’ll be hiding/sneaking food for sure. And her comments and questions could cause yours to have them as well if she is allowed to continue saying these things over time. Junk food is fine in moderation if it’s only an add-on to a mostly healthy diet.
bushidejo writes:
NTA - I would have just unloaded if she referred to my kids as fat little tubbos. I would have responded with something really mean like at least mine don't hate me. So I will say your a better person than me.
Honestly I would LC or NC with her. It's not worth waisting the air trying to discuss parenting styles. Also since as much as I hate this woman she is allowed to raise her kids how she likes. Though they seem like they already resent her insane control issues, so honestly I would just sit watch that house burn.
pearllyn writes:
NTA. As someone who suffered from an eating disorder, what concerns me most about this post is that your SIL seems to equate healthy with thin. Hence, quizzing your kids on their sizes and making the “tubbos” comment. She is forcing extremely disordered eating on her children in an effort to keep them thin, which could adversely affect their development. She really needs therapy; I hope she gets it.