Woman tells SIL, 'You put your baby in danger,' SIL says, 'You're NOT a parent.' AITA?
When this woman tells her SIL that her parenting is bad, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for telling my SIL that she endangered her baby?"
My (29F) SIL (33F) lives in the same community as me and my husband (32M). She and her husband had plans to come by our home after they came back from picking up their 1 year old son from her mom’s house.
When they arrived she was extremely angry and distraught and explained that her husband dropped her and baby off while he looked for parking, but she saw a spot open up nearby so she tried to hold it by standing in the spot with her son in stroller.
A man got to the spot first and started to back his car into the spot despite seeing her and the baby there and she was forced to move out of the way. She said she went off on him, cursing and saying that he’s an evil person to steal a parking spot from a baby and to endanger them by backing into the spot.
The man apparently gave her a big F you and said her name isn’t on the spot. Honestly, I wanted to stay neutral on the matter, especially after my husband confirmed with her and via house camera that the man very slowly backed in and clearly was not trying to run them over.
SIL was clearly upset and shaken up over it but she kept talking about how awful the man was hours after they arrived and her husband kept validating her which made her feel like my husband and I would be on the same page.
She kept asking for our input and we kept skirting around it with plenty of “that’s crazy” and “so sorry that happened to you”.
I had enough of it and told her that I am sorry that that happened to her and that I understand that it was scary, but even though it wasn’t her intent, she was the one endangering her child by forcing herself and baby into the road to hold a spot.
There were plenty of other parking spots (she should know as she lives in the neighborhood) and she can’t assume that everyone will pass her by when they see her holding a spot just because she has a baby.
What if the man got angry and backed in without giving her time to move? I also told her that she can’t force anyone to not take a public parking spot.
She got huffy and said that she knew I wouldn’t understand because I’m not a parent and that I can’t comprehend how traumatic the experience was for her. Her husband said that the man should not have backed into the spot and just talked to her if he needed it that badly.
I told them that I do understand that it was scary for SIL and that it was messed up for the man to back in, but ultimately, no one is entitled to a public parking spot and she shouldn’t have put her and baby in the street to begin with.
They decided to leave when they couldn’t get me to agree with them and my husband and I feel bad because SIL genuinely was shaken up. Just wondering if we are AHoles and should apologize and make peace. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
shibaspots writes:
NTA Aside from the fact that IMO trying to hold a parking spot is an AH thing to do, doing it with a baby is dangerous. The guy gave her plenty of time to move. As for 'if he needed the spot, he should have talked to her?' What, he should have blocked the street and asked her to move, which of course she would have done. /s This is the same lady that called him evil for taking a publicly available parking spot.
You responded correctly, acknowledged that it scared her, and didn't call her a ninny for standing in the street with her baby.
They took offense over you not wholeheartedly agreeing that they had the right to that space, because baby! You are in the right, but this also seems like a strange hill to die on. Let things cool and then reach out. SIL may be more reasonable when she's not shaken up.
lostboulderdash writes:
YTA Pedestrians have the right of way. It doesn't really matter why she's standing in the parking spot. He had no right to use a 2 ton threat of squishing her and her child to take it from her. Any more than someone could use a gun to make you move over on the sidewalk so they don't have to step on the grass to pass.
Whether saving a spot is rude or not, using threats of murdering her and her baby to take it from her by force is a massively asshole thing to do.
ownpurchase1388 writes:
NTA. She was shaken up by a situation she entirely put herself in. A person cant save a parking spot. Theyre first come, first serve… for cars. And it’s entirely on her to keep her child safe.
While you hope you can have faith in others to not endanger your child, ultimately there’s no guarantee a troubled person wont just disregard that there’s a child and back up into them.