Woman tells SISTER that she's a mess. 'You RUINED mom's wedding!' AITA?
When this woman is upset with her sister, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my sister I was the “golden kid” since she couldn’t do anything right?'
My sister is a flaming hot mess, she made my life miserable growing up. She got in with the wrong crowd, ran away multiple times. The house was never peaceful. We are close in age, I was a pretty good kid. When I was allowed to hang out at the mall in 8th grade my sister couldn’t since my parents didn’t trust her.
When she was 17 they gave up on her and I don’t blame them. She ruined my moms wedding dress. At 18 she was gone, they didn’t kick her out she just disappeared. She is back and is now 26, she got her life together and my parents put strict boundaries with her.
I’ve been meeting up with her more often and she went on a huge rant about not being invited to thanksgiving since my parent said they aren’t at the point to let her back in their home.
After at least 10 minutes she went on about how I am the golden child and at this point I had enough. I told her I was the golden child since she couldn’t do anything right and she is lucky anyone talks to her. She has never apologized and she left in tears. Her bf called me angry and think I am an unfair AH. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
dobbysreward asks:
Did your parents ever try to... help your sister? Take her to therapy and a psychiatrist? Change what school she was going to? Interfere when their 13 year old was getting in 'with the wrong crowd'?
If they gave up on her at 17 it sounds like they're shitty parents, especially since she's now in her mid-twenties and they're holding her teenage behavior against her as a reason she can't come over for dinner.
To which OP responds:
Yes they tried. We moved once to a new school to help her, I’m still bitter I had to move and lost all my friends for her. She was in detention the first week of the new school. She was awful. Therapy happened with her, group therapy was a nightmare. I don’t blame my parents, it was bad enough is that I don’t want to have kid since I worry they would be like her.
dobbysreward writes back:
NTA then. If your parents sincerely tried and attempted professional help then there's only so much they can do.
Your parents may still be assholes, depending on the full context. It's strange to tell your child that her behavior from 10 years ago, when they were a child, is why they can't come to Thanksgiving.
meanestgoose has a different take:
This smacks of missing reasons. Kids don't act the way you've described your sister for absolutely no reason at all.
You are not required to accept her back into your life. You are entitled to be upfront with her and say 'I was hurt and negatively affected by your behavior, and I need a sincere apology before I can really consider rebuilding our relationship.' You're entitled to say 'Hey, Mom and Dad need time to regain trust in you.'
It sounds like being 'better' than her is important to you. That may or may not be true, but it sounds that way. If you need her to stay as the 'black sheep' I suggest returning to NC. Sounds like without you and your parents, she is able to live a productive and good life. ESH.