Woman uninvites 'loner' stepson from Disney World because bio son doesn't want to go'
Figuring out how to parent kids with opposite personality types and needs can be challenging. You don't want to apply double standards to either of them, but you want to have a semblance of household consistency.
Inevitably, one kid gets what they want while the other doesn't from time to time. Finding balance is the tricky key.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for uninviting her stepson from Disney World to keep the peace with her bio son.
She wrote:
AITA for uninviting my stepson from our anniversary trip to Disney World?
My (42F) husband (45M) had a surprise gift to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, a trip to Disney World for the whole family this summer. Our kids are close in age but have very different personalities. My son (16M) is an extrovert, has a very active social life and does a lot of activities.
My stepson (17M) is an introvert that prefers to stay home and does not have much going on in his life outside of school. They still have a good relationship, even playing video games together sometimes. My son was not on board with the Disney World idea at all.
He had no interest in doing this kind of trip with his family and was especially upset because it would make him miss his current girlfriend's birthday. He was really angry about the situation, yelling at me multiple times demanding to stay at home instead of going on the trip and accusing us of ruining his life. On the other hand, my stepson was really excited about the trip.
My husband is used to having a kid with no friends when doing plans like this so he didn't expect my son's reaction. I felt that going just with my stepson would be anticlimactic and wouldn't fulfill the original idea of it being a trip for the whole family. I also didn't want to leave my son fully alone with all the house to himself.
We decided to leave them both so my stepson can keep an eye on my son's behaviour while me and my husband have a romantic trip just for the two of us. My stepson is sad because he wanted to go to the trip but my son is happy about the new plan. My stepson was more intense about his disappointment at first, crying and whining a lot, but he has mostly calmed down by now.
I asked my son to try to include his stepbrother a little in his social life while we are out so he wouldn't be so lonely and he said he would try to. My husband feels bad for his son being sad but I am convinced this is the best solution for everyone. Am I the a**hole?
The internet didn't hold back one bit.
lihzee wrote:
YTA. Wow. You basically punished your stepson because your son didn’t want to do something. Huge AH.
DJ_Too_Supreme wrote:
YTA and your husband is TA. So to make one child happy, the other has to sacrifice his happiness to play babysitter? How is this the 'best solution'? If you’re worried about your son's behavior while you’re gone, hire a babysitter (even though he is too old for that and should be responsible to be home alone) instead of forcing that role onto your step-son or consider that his behavior is due to your parenting OP.
Instead of letting your son's behavior slide and punishing your step-son because of his behavior; you should properly discipline your child and not enable his horrible behavior.
Your husband is also an AH for letting you do this to his son. Why should his son get punished for your son's bad behavior?
Dependent-Report-184 wrote:
YTA. Introvert ≠ no social life. Your husband bought tickets for the whole family, your son had the issue. You should have found proper accommodations for your son, if you didn’t want him alone. Having your step son stay home, is not the best solution.
NorthwestPassenger wrote:
YTA. Your son manipulated you into leaving him home, so to make it easier on yourself you’re punishing your stepson by dis-inviting him? So your stepson bears the brunt of your bad parenting choices?
And you know that your son won’t listen to anything your stepson says if you’re not there. So you are also putting him in a terrible position. How are you NOT being an AH to your stepson? And it’s time for his dad to step up and advocate for him.
marxam0d wrote:
YTA - was it important you get to Disney even without the kids because you were trying out for evilest Step Mother?
OP is fully TA, to a point where it's almost cartoonish. Hopefully, she wakes up and sees she's the villain in this story before it's too late.