Wife takes 'her dog' in the divorce, now asks for help for vet bills. Ex says 'nope'.
Splitting up a family is heartbreaking, but it gets way more complicated when little ones are involved.
But pets should be easier than human kids, right? Well, it depends on who you ask, and when you ask them. For one woman, her dog was HER dog. Until, that is, she needed financial help. Here's the post on Reddit, from her ex husband,
'AITA (Am I the a-hole) for refusing to help with my ex dog's vet bills?'
Both_Ad6935 writes:
My ex-wife wanted a pure bred dog as a pet when we were together. I tried to talk her into a rescue dog but she said no. I tried to talk her into adopting a mutt since they are generally healthier than all the inbred 'pure' dogs. Nope.
She had to have a very specific dog breed. This particular breed is famously bad at breathing.
I could afford it so I finally gave in. I got her the dog she wanted. He was never 'our' dog. He was 'her' dog. Unless it was unpleasant outside. Then I had to walk him. I also paid all the vet bills and dog related bills.
When we divorced she took her dog with her. No kids, thank god, so no child support. No spousal support either.
Well, it has been about six months since I heard from her. The dog is not doing well and needs some fairly extensive and expensive surgery.
Since he was our baby she wants me to pay for the operations. I said no thank you.
Now she is pissed and is contacting my friends and family trying to get me to change my mind. Some of my friends are starting to take her side.
They say that I'm being an a-hole for not helping an animal that I used to care about. I don't think I owe her any help. I thought buying him was a bad idea.
I was repeatedly told he wasn't mine. And she left with him and I have not seen them in months.
So, what do you think? Is OP obligated to help? Or is he not, but it would be the right thing anyway?
Here's what Reddit had to say...
woofridgerator comments:
Man this sucks. I wanna say ur T A because of the poor pup but in all honesty I gotta end up with a NTA (not the a-hole). She made her decision to leave and cut off contact. Ex wife ex life, not your problems.
Geo_1997 agrees:
NTA, honestly sucks for the dog most out of everyone, but not being funny, if she wanted to keep the dog, then she inherits any and all responibility. It's not like you have shared custody of the dog lmao.
Missepus asks:
Info: how would you feel if the dog is surrendered to a rescue?
OP answers:
Probably for the best.
So Missepus responds:
NTA. The only obligation you really have here is to the dog, and if you consider it better for the dog if your ex is forced to give it up, then you are acting responsibly. The thing is, you did buy the dog, so despite pressure you are responsible for it living with your ex. Any actions you take or do not take in this regard should be with the dog's welfare in mind, not your feelings about the ex.
maywellflower is team OP all the way:
NTA and tell those friends that sided with her they can go help pay for dog medical care since they see the dog more than you do AND you have no legal custody due you not on dog registration/adoption papers, so you have no obligation whatsoever to the dog nor her because of the divorce.
The audacity of your ex-wife asking for that after the divorce while knowing damn well you never wanted that type of dog anyway...
So, there you have it!
Looks like OP is not the a-hole, but neither is the dog. Let's hope everyone can find a good solution here.