Man laughs at wife wanting to call baby 'Bartholomew'; gets bashed by family. AITA?
Landing on a solid and mutually loved baby name can be a big challenge. Everyone has different taste and name associations, and some people want to keep family names going, while others want to make up something completely new.
What sounds funny to one person might sound beautiful to another, which is why discussing your preferences as a couple is almost always the move. Otherwise, you might end up in a fight that could have been avoided.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad-to-be asked if he's wrong for laughing at his wife's baby name choice.
He wrote:
AITA for laughing at my wife’s name choice for our son?
I decided to make a new account because I’m currently being bashed by most of my family members on this and they follow me on my main Reddit account. So my (35M) wife (32F) is pregnant. She’s due in 2 weeks and I am beyond excited because this would be my first child and I’ve always wanted to be a dad.
Yesterday, we were in bed together, talking about our baby. All of a sudden she jumps up excited with a huge smile on her face. She told me to stay on the bed because she had a surprise for me. She went into our closet and grabbed a box. It was decorated with ribbons and bows so I assumed it was a gift for me.
She handed it to me with the same big grin on her face. It was obvious she was excited to see my reaction. I asked her what it was but she just kept on saying “open it open it!” I opened it and inside was a blue onesie with the name “Bartholomew” in cursive stitched on the middle.
Now, I had agreed that I’d let my wife name the baby since she was the one giving birth and I felt as if it would be something really special for her so I trusted she’d name my son something at least normal. I asked her what it meant and she said “surprise!! That’s going to be his name.”
She sounded so happy and enthusiastic so I knew she was serious. I busted out laughing to the point of tears. I honestly could not believe she was going to name our son that. What the hell kind of name is “Bartholomew”???? She got really silent and started tearing up. When I noticed this, I sat up and stopped laughing.
She snatched the box off me and stomped back to the closet. I asked her if she was serious and she said yes. Apparently she’s decided to name our son after her grandfather who she was very close with before he died. I told her that she should think about this because it’s an “outdated” name.
She started yelling at me saying I was judging my son before he even came out the womb. She stormed out and is now staying at her mom's. I honestly can’t believe she’s serious. Her dad called me yelling at me because apparently she’s told on me. I’ve been called immature and a joke so far.
I’ll probably just apologize but there is no way in hell I’m calling my son by that outrageous name. I’m currently thinking of a nickname to call him, any ideas? AITA?
People with all sorts of names gave their opinions.
Beck2010 wrote:
That’s what Perry the Platypus was originally named by Phineas and Ferb!!! NTA. Names need to be 2 yeses. She may be carrying the baby, but she doesn’t get carte blanche in naming him.
Qaws888 wrote:
Reminds me of a wonderful kid (age 9) who is named Homer. I understand the father was intending it to be a reference to the Greek Homer, but... well, you know.
Kid isn't bullied though, because he owns his name and is proud of it and is pretty much liked by most in his school. So, while bullying is possible, it's not guaranteed.
avocadosdontbite wrote:
NAH. Both partners need to come up with the name for the baby together. This is a decision that requires TWO yesses, not something where one person can just pick because it's really unfair to have one person love the name and the other person detest what their child is called.
I think the idea of honoring her grandfather with Bartholomew is lovely, but perhaps you should do so as a middle name. Pick out a first name that is more commonly used now for his first name, and that way the gesture is still there, but without the spelling headaches for the kid's entire life.
Trust me, he does not want to be named something weird that he has to spell out three times every time he calls to make an appointment for everything for the rest of his life.
OkraOk1769 wrote:
Am I the only one who thinks Bart is going to be a fine name? In a classroom with 20 Liams, be the Bart. Maybe I’m biased because I find most of the current popular baby names atrocious.
Nemesis0408 wrote:
YTA. Bartholomew is not my personal style, but it has history, substance, and meaning, especially for your wife. Better than yet another tired, dated defunct-medieval-occupational-surname as a first name.
And it’s one thing to diplomatically express your dislike, but you had this poor woman in tears. Both parents should be comfortable with their child’s name, but there’s no need to belittle or mock her. You say you thought it was a joke but you must have known it was her grandfather’s name. You owe her an apology. Bartholomew is a fine name.
Ghitit wrote:
Everyone is going to associate him with Bart Simpson. NTA. You responded in the moment. You weren't mocking her choice you were baffled by her (ridiculous) choice. The she went and told her family, (and they call YOU immature!) You weren't judging your son, you're judging her choice of a name. Just make sure he has a solid middle name that you can call him.
UltraTheMemer wrote:
YTA. Even if it's a ridiculous name, you said yourself that you gave her the choice to name your son as she is the one giving birth. You also said yourself that she looked very happy and excited, and then you start laughing? That's some a**hole behavior.