'Friend' blows up when woman announces pregnancy, 'you're doing this to mock me.' AITA?
"AITH for announcing I'm pregnant"
Hi_Monstera
I am 20 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. My husband and I are over the moon excited. Announcing our pregnancy is my favorite, I try to be super creative with how I tell our family & friends. We have already told our families so now we're onto telling our friends. I threw a dinner party at our house with subtle hints at pregnancy.
We organized a game of Pictionary after dinner and about half way through we did the clue 'bun in oven.' Everyone knew immediately and were super excited for us. We made our "public" announcement the next day on Facebook.
My husband has a friend whose wife (we'll call her Anna) and I do not get along. She is mean, condescending, belittling, stuck up, etc. I tried being her friend but finally had enough 4 years ago and asked her why she's so unpleasant toward me.
She just called me a b*tch and said "our friend group doesn't need anyone else it." We didn't invite them to dinner. There's an understanding that they don't invite us and we don't invite them.
Anna saw our Facebook announcement and FLIPPED out. She commented on the post saying I'm rude and inconsiderate. They've been struggling for two years to get pregnant and are doing IVF. She started blowing up our phones saying we got pregnant on purpose to rub it in her face.
I knew they were trying, but I didn't know about their IVF. I told her to leave me alone. She screamed that getting pregnant comes so easy for me and telling our friends/posting on Facebook was just to make her feel bad and I could have kept it to myself.
I finally had enough and snapped on her and I think this is where I might be the butt face. I told her, "Yeah getting pregnant does come easy, it happened our first cycle trying with BOTH of my kids. Your infertility is not my f*$#%g problem, Anna."
"Newsflash, you twat, not everything is about you. You don't get to dictate how or when we announce OUR pregnancy because your uterus is f*^%$d up. Please unpack your f*#$@ng issues in therapy before you have a kid and ruin their life" and then I blocked her.
I texted her this after almost 4 hours of her going insane. She's painting a picture to our friends that I'm making fun of her struggles, rubbing it in how quickly we got pregnant and that I got pregnant to spite her.
I definitely think I should have just blocked her when she started going crazy because I never engage with her bs, which she is prone to. She often has meltdowns like this and usually blames it on being bipolar, but she got under my skin trying to make our announcement about her.
Most of our friends saw her screaming on Facebook so they're on my side, but a few are calling me the a**hole for not just ignoring her, knowing she's crazy. Her husband has apologized for her. So AITA for announcing I'm pregnant?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
ExtendedSpikeProtein
You could’ve been nicer about it. You blew up at her after hours of abuse. She sounds insufferable. Definitely someone I wouldn’t want to associate with, especially if she blows up at you projecting her issues at you. “How dare you get pregnant when I can’t” - yeah, no. NTA.
The OP responded here:
Hi_Monstera
About 30 minutes after I sent the text and blocked her I felt bad. It's definitely not a statement I'm proud of. It was just crazy though because I hasn't seen her in person in two years at that point, so I also hadn't talked to her in two years. The only reason I knew they were ttc was from a friend mentioning it a few months ago.
ExtendedSpikeProtein
Yeah this person needs therapy. She’s just lashing out at you because she’s projecting her issues at you. BUT that doesn’t mean that you have to put up with it. You went a bit overboard there because you were angry, but I think that was understandable after she healed abuse at you. Be sure to set the record straight with your friends.
The OP again responded:
Hi_Monstera
I apologized to her husband because I do genuinely feel bad for what I said in the moment. It's not a text I am proud of and it doesn't reflect the person I try to be. Definitely a very ugly moment from me.
I have shown our friends the messages she texted my husband and I & everyone agrees she's wrong, but some said I'm an a**hole for not just ignoring her, which I agree. She did something similar when my husband and I got engaged because she felt like we were taking the spotlight off them and their engagement..almost a year prior.
And she told me I can't get married before her. I hope she gets therapy truly because it can't be fun or healthy to live in that mindset.
Beautiful-Story2811
Eh... you could have taken the high road and not responded to her, but sometimes folks can get by you so bad, you snap. Guilty! The only person, I would apologize to is her husband. She more than likely wouldn't listen to you or accept an apology from you.
After I sincerely apologized to him... he seems like a decent guy... I would block her from all social media and phone and carry on with my life. Congratulations on the new little one!