'AITA for asking my husband to stay with me instead of flying out of state? I'm pregnant.' + Q&A
"AITA for asking my husband to stay with me while I'm 7 months pregnant, instead of flying out of state?"
I'm (29) currently 7 months pregnant. It's been an okay pregnancy so far, but one thing I can't stand is traveling (makes me nauseous), let alone flying.
My husband's (31) step brother and his fiancee passed away, and the funeral is next week. It's in another city and we would have to fly out. As I mentioned, traveling makes me sick so I unfortunately won't be able to go.
My husband wants to go by himself, but I want him to stay with me, in case anything happens God forbid but also just for support. I suggested he video call with his siblings from the funeral, but he said he needs to be there and I'm being unsupportive of him. AITA?
Q&A with OP:
recognize_choice says:
Soft YTA. If you were high-risk, or at 9 months, or he was going for a friends' get-together, I might vote differently. But as it is...his family needs his support, and he probably needs theirs as well.
Still, I understand being nervous. Is there a friend or a family member on your side who could stay with you while he's gone?
throwaway34126451 OP responds:
Only one of my cousins live here, and yes, I have friends who can possibly check in. My mom is flying out here in about a month, and I don't think it'd make much sense to have her come now, go back and then come back again.
hurray4dolphins says:
It might be worth examining why you cant be without him for a few days. Do you really need support just...existing? Or has your anxiety flared up? Or do you have issues with trusting him? His family? If your mental health is precarious as it seems, then you might need some support outside of your husband.
This is something to work on before baby is here. Good luck- I truly wish you the best and hope these comments don't bring you down but lead you to a healthier mindset for you and your family!
throwaway34126451 OP responds:
Thank you for an actually kind comment. It's our first baby and I'm just extra nervous with everything, obviously you never wish for the worst case scenario to happen but you can't help thinking about it.
As far as his family, I'm not super close to them but we get along fine. There was quite a bit of drama between my sister and my BIL/his fiancee, but that was a while back.
whereisthetvchanger says:
NTA - I think people are being way too harsh on you. I understand being anxious right now with him flying away. I think it’s insensitive to assume all pregnant people don’t get nervous or need support from the person who got them pregnant. Being pregnant isn’t a walk in the park. It can be dangerous!! I wouldn’t want my partner far away from me either.
I do have some questions. How close was he with his step brother? I ask because my bf doesn’t have a relationship with his step siblings. So….were they close or not?
Also- how long is he gone for? Can he fly out, go to the funeral, and fly back SAME DAY? Yes it won’t be fun but sacrifices should be made. Especially for you - the woman making his child. I’ve flown Seattle to Florida and back in 24 hours. Yup it sucked. But it can be done.
throwaway34126451 OP responds:
They were close growing up, they drifted apart as they got older, moved away etc, but they still kept in touch. He'd be gone for a couple of days at least. It's Hawaii to DC so a long journey (2 flights each way)
Here's what people had to say to OP:
AshlynM2 says:
YTA. You haven’t mentioned any serious medical issues that would require a full time caregiver. HIS BROTHER DIED
You are acting incredibly selfish. He needs to be with his family. You will survive. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t be alone for a few days. Ask a friend or family member to come stay with you if you’re that scared to be alone.
herro1801012 says:
YTA. I would like to echo the “buck up buttercup” sentiment and also add, if you do “let him” go, don’t spend every waking minute texting him, face timing him, expecting replies, attention etc. Give him the space and respect he deserves. Don’t be so controlling. Don’t be so needy. You will survive.