Man with 'invisible disability' won't give seat to pregnant woman; 'I felt humiliated'

"AITA for refusing to give up my seat to a pregnant woman?"

So, this happened yesterday and I am still in shock from the glares I received. I (32M) was on a crowded train coming back from work. I managed to get a seat as I boarded early. A few stops later, a pregnant woman (maybe 30s) got on and was standing right in front of me. Everyone in the carriage looked at me expecting me to offer my seat. I didn’t.

Now, before you judge me, hear me out. I have a medical condition that causes me extreme pain if I stand for long periods of time. I always try to get a seat when I can and avoid standing as much as possible. I carry a card with me that explains my condition, which I showed to the woman. She just rolled her eyes and said “Really?”. I felt humiliated.

At the next stop, an elderly man offered his seat to the woman, and she gratefully accepted. The rest of the journey, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, judging me. I felt so small. When I got off the train, a man came up to me and called me an a**hole. I was so embarrassed.

AITA? I feel terrible about the whole situation, but I genuinely couldn’t stand for that long. Was I wrong to prioritize my own health?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

jethrine writes:

“How dare OP not give up his seat!” Said/thought by everyone else on the train while keeping their own buttocks firmly planted in their seats.

jbarkules OP responded:

so true, that's what I was thinking.

HELLbound_33 writes:

Yep, I have an invisible disability. My connective tissue breaks down, and I get ligaments and tendons replaced. Some day, I can't walk without my cane because my knees and hips keep popping out of place with every step.

On those days I have to use the handicap parking. You can't believe the insults I've had thrown at me. It's gotten where I sometimes will rather physically suffer than have the conversations with others.

LydiasMomma2013 writes:

My mom walks with a cane and I have a handicap placard in my car for when she rides with me, every time I hang that up and they just see a 32 seemingly healthy woman they get so upset, then my mom walks around the car and they have "sympathy" 🙄 How about don't judge a book by it's cover? They don't know that I do/don't have an invisible disability.

Pumibel writes:

I feel like I wrote this! I am arthritic but have hypermobility at the same time (the connective tissue is stretchy, not the joints). I feel you!

OP added:

Thanks for all the responses. I just want to clarify that I did not expect the elderly man to give up his seat. I was actually about to offer to stand despite the pain when he stood up. I appreciate all your comments and support.