Man 'ignores' GF on her bday talking to her grandma who 'told her life story.' AITA?
Meeting your significant other's family for the first time can be a terrifying experience, and your partner is supposed to work as a buffer. But what happens when your partner is the one who feels like a third wheel?
When a birthday girl decided her party was the perfect opportunity for her BF to meet the extended family, she was surprised with how well they got along. But not surprised in the good way. So, the boyfriend came to Reddit to ask:
'AITA (Am I the a-hole) for mostly ignoring my girlfriend on her birthday?'
ThrowawayRoma98 writes:
Yesterday we celebrated my(m23) girlfriends(f21) 21st birthday. Her parents threw a big celebration party with all her friends and family. For me personally, this was the first time I met anyone in her family with the exception of her parents. It was also her first birthday I celebrated with her since we've been dating for about ~7 months.
Now, I am originally from Romania from a region called Maramures, but I've been living abroad for 11 years now. My gf mentioned at some point that one of her grandmothers was also from Romania but we didn't discuss it in detail.
So yesterday I met my gf's grandmother and what can I say... I couldn't believe how small the world was, not only was she Romanian but from the same county as me, Maramures.
So we talked, and talked a lot. She told me her life story. We reminisced about baia mare. I really enjoyed the conversation, especially talking in my native language.
And thats how i spent most of the party. Of course when my gf asked me to take photos with her, or when the cake came I gave her my full attention,. But for the most part she spent time with her friends, dancing, drinking etc. While I was just talking with her grandmother.
I didn't pay it much mind.
But after the party was done she told me she felt neglected by me during her birthday. And this morning she seems p*ssed off at me.
Here's what the moral authority of Reddit had to say...
NAH (No a-holes here) I would think she'd be excited you connected so well with her grandmother. Family approval makes relationships a lot easier. That being said, you probably could have done a better job striking a balance between talking to her grandmother and hanging out with her during the party. It's hard to fault her based on your description of events.
NAH. You were understandably excited to talk to grandma. Girlfriend knew your history and it should have occurred to her that you and grandma would want to talk. However, your girlfriend was also understandably excited for a milestone birthday, and you knew it. She's probably wondering if she's going to be ignored by you at every big event.
21 is a big birthday so I can see her feeling neglected. Maybe you can make it up to her with a surprise night out and do something special. But she also has to understand the connection with the Grandmother was very unexpected and got caught up in the conversation. That you meant no harm by it.
NAH. It’s reasonable that she felt a bit neglected, especially since this was your first time to meet everyone and she was probably excited to take you around and introduce you to everyone. You prioritised making a good connection with her grandmother, which is ultimately a good thing for the relationship to be close with the family. This is probably something that a simple apology & explanation can solve.
Looks like there really are no a-holes here!
Let's hope OP can make it up to his GF some other way.