"I’m breaking up with my BF of 2 years because of a TikTok comment."

i feel so.. icky? we’ve been together since i was 16 and he was 17. my friend sent me a link to this tiktok of these 2 guys talking about how when one of them cheated on his girlfriend, she cheated on him after finding out instead of “working to fix the relationship.”

the man in the video said it was his biggest heartbreak because while his ons meant nothing to him she slept with one of his ex friends who she had a crush on before they got together. the video said it’s a woman’s duty to be nurturing and forgiving in a relationship and that women have to understand that certain men aren’t monogamous.

my friend sent it to me and said “i cannot believe how out of touch these men are” and after watching the tiktok i decided to read the comments. the first one i see is my bf tagging two mutual friends of ours and saying “women ☕️”. one of our friends responded to the comment and said “they're so dramatic” and my bf responded agreeing to him.

i feel sick. i thought we had the same views on things like this? he was raised by a single teen mom who worked 3 jobs to keep a roof over his head, food in his mouth, and allow him to play soccer despite their tight budget and expensive little league fees.

when we first started dating i asked him who his role model was and he said his mom. he went on and on about how strong and brave she is and how much he appreciates her for all she does for him. his mom was single and living alone at 17 because my bfs father cheated on her after she gave birth and was recovering because he “can’t be expected to just NOT get any for eight weeks.”

i’m just upset? i’m at school right now typing this out in one of the bathroom stalls because i just can’t keep this to myself anymore. i’m disgusted with him. he texted me earlier this morning asking if i want to hang out after school and i said yes. i’m gonna break up with him and tell him why.

This is what top commenters had to say about the situation:

eeveechuu11 said:

all i can think of is how stupid the man who made that tiktok is, lmfao. he cheats and then gets upset? bruh

[deleted] said:

All the best, OP. I am glad that you made the right decision, no matter how tough. I know it must hurt and feel bad but know that you dodged a big bullet. I hope you find someone caring and loving who does not believe in cheating.

jinkies422 said:

Tell his mom lmao maybe she’ll set him straight

OP responded:

LMAOO maybe depending how the talk goes 😭 emotions usually hit me after situations have been dealt with so if i’m not busy sobbing my ass off i’ll shoot her a text with some screenshots.

And CanAccomplished8788 said:

im really sorry you’re dealing with this you deserve to feel secure in your relationship and after reading comments like that i wouldn’t feel comfortable staying with him knowing thats how he feels and might end up treating you like that

Edit from OP:

he has commented under almost every post this account has made agreeing with all of their misogynistic views. he thinks that girlfriends/wives are property of the men they’re with.

Edit 2:

i’m not just gonna show up at his house, say “we’re done lmao” and leave. i’m gonna tell him what i saw and if there’s no explanation for it (idk what the hell kind of justification there is for the sh!t he said but we’ll see) THEN i’ll break up with him. i’m giving him the benefit of the doubt as much as i can. idk why some of y’all think i’m just gonna say “we’re over” with no explanation or discussion

She then shared this first update:

YALL. okay so in the short amount of time from my last comment to now sh!t hit the fan. i made my last comment from my car then started driving back home to hopefully try and get my sh!† together before he gets off work in 20 mins. HIS MOTHER CALLED ME. while i was in the car.

literally as i’m driving 2 mins away from my house she calls me to ask me what sides i want her to make for thanksgiving (she’s a literal angel wtf 🥹) and i tried to keep it together as best as i could. i guess she could hear that i was upset bc she said in her mom voice “what’s wrong beautiful”. and i started SOBBING.

like so bad i had to pull over at the entrance of my neighborhood and i told her the bare minimum of what i’d seen (as much as i could through a sh¡† ton of snot and tears lol) and she was just dead SILENT. for like 20 seconds and i swear my heart fell out of my asshole. she said “honey. he’s not at work right now” and 🧍 i damn near died.

GET THIS YALL. her best friend owns a bunch of apartment complexes. like LUXURY. NICE apartments. like the 3.5k a month kind. THIS @$$HOLE IS VIEWING AN APARTMENT TO SURPRISE ME WITH WHEN I GRADUATE? his mom said her friend offered one of the apartments to my bf for DIRT CHEAP.

and he’s planning to get all the papers signed and surprise me with it on valentine’s day since the current tenant (the friends oldest daughter) is moving into a house with her wife and their lease ends on feb 1. his moms coming over to look at the screenshots i have then she’s taking me back to their house to confront him.

she’s literally the sweetest you guys. she said she wanted to be in the house when i talk to him just in case. currently sitting right inside the front door of my house taking the 8 mins in between their house and mine to type this out. i am in SHOCK. i’m just waiting for her to pull up so i’ll update as soon as i can. i don’t think i’m that sad anymore? just pissed off and confused as hell.

OP then shared this second update, and she didn't spare us any details:

first things first, i see a lot of people thinking the apartment changes things. it does not. my wording was off and i apologize. when i said i wasn’t sad anymore i meant i no longer was grieving our relationship. i was angry at him. the apartment was never going to make me stay with him.

second, also about the apartment. it’s 3.5k for a one bedroom. his mom said he was looking at a 3 bedroom (what would have been our room, and then an office for each of us). we would’ve been paying maybe 1k a month for what’s usually a 5.8k monthly apartment.

i only brought up price because he graduated high school last year, is not in college (he works a good job, though.) and i’m still in high school. we spoke briefly about getting an apartment in that complex once we’re on our feet financially. i should’ve included that in the previous post because while his moms friend owns cheaper apartments he was getting the one we both deemed our “dream.”

i don’t know what to feel right now. i just can’t make sense of anything at the moment so this update might be messy and all over the place. now onto the update i guess.

the talk: i got to his house and immediately showed him the screenshots. i asked him what the hell they were and told him i was disgusted with him. i could literally see the color drain from his face 🧍 kinda shocking.

he started talking really fast and after like 45 seconds of rushed explanation he just,,, stopped. he stopped talking for a minute or two and just stared at the floor. this pissed me off SO DAMN BAD so i got up to leave. he grabbed my hand and told me he could explain everything.

he handed me his phone and told me to open his discord and click on one specific server. y’all 🧍 i kinda just stared at him because ? wtf. anyways he explained to me that one of the two guys he was tagging in these posts was a chauvinist and him and a few other people were gathering evidence to send to the dudes girlfriend. i did NOT believe him. AT ALL.

then the mf opens his laptop and pulls up one of those group google doc things AND IT GOES BACK LIKE A MONTH AND A HALF? him and some friends had noticed some weird behavior from the dude and decided to warn his gf. the problem is, she’s naive and they thought she wouldn’t believe them without evidence.

the doc had links to every tiktok they’d all commented on, screenshots of all their comments, and screenshots from the discord of them deciding what tiktok to comment on and what to say. The comments he made:

on the discord server someone sent a screenshot of a private message from the guy (dean) they were gathering evidence about basically saying he didn’t trust my bf because my bf never said anything negative about me. so, the other mutual (lets call him lucas) he tagged in the videos came up with the genius idea that my bf should sh!t talk me publicly and call me his property to gain this dude's trust. WTF?!

i told my boyfriend that even if this was a set up for this dude what he said about me was unacceptable and down right disgusting. he agreed wholeheartedly and showed me the part of their conversation where my bf refused to say the things lucas told him to even after lucas told bf that dean didn’t trust him

my bfs brilliant solution? give lucas his tiktok password so lucas could just do it. 😐 i saw in the server that bf DID give lucas his password and lucas even sent a screenshot of the first comment right after he made it. for the past week and a half (that’s when the first comment about me was posted) lucas had been in bfs tiktok.

at this point bf was in tears and told me he was so sorry and would leave the discord, block lucas and never talk to him again. he even said he’d delete tiktok and let me set up parental settings on his phone to ensure he doesn’t download it again. (i said no to everything except him leaving the discord and not participating in the doc anymore.) telling him i know about the apartment/the aftermath:

i basically just told him i know and due to all of this i won’t be moving in with him. he was upset that the surprise was ruined for me but said he understands. he told me that he’s respect my wishes and wouldn’t move forward with getting the apartment.

he brought up couples therapy and said that he would go to individual therapy as well. he also offered to message lucas and tell him off (in his notes app there’s like 3 paragraphs written already, apparently after the one comment lucas made about cheating on me bf was trying to find a way to end whatever it was they were doing.)

i told him i would go to couples therapy IF and only if he 1) did individual therapy for a month or a bit more, weekly appointments, and when his therapist suggests i come in for a session with them says that they think he’s learned from this. 2) messages lucas in front of me and 3) never pulls any shi† like this again.

i did say that maybe it’s not best we be together in between now and when he feels as though he’s had enough individual therapy to be ready for couples therapy. he got very emotional and said that while he understands and respects what i want he loves me and doesn’t want us to end.

he told me to take all the space i need but asked me to not count this as a breakup. he said he still wanted to be able to call himself my boyfriend (i’m pissed af at him but the way he phrased it was cute lol)

i told him okay, no breakUP but definitely a break. ground rules for the break (he brought ground rules up first, he told me that they don’t have to be for me but he wants to show me he’s sorry and prove that he doesn’t agree with what lucas said at all. his solution:

“give me rules to follow and i will. every day until i’ve made this up to you.”) 1) no contact with dean. 2) this is not a ross/rachel situation. no dating/flirting/sleeping with anyone else. 3) apologize to his damn mother. 4) texting is okay but not like we did before this. no texting multiple times an hour, no talking just to talk, checking in/good morning/goodnight texts are okay.

he came up with 1,2, and 4. i told him to apologize to his mom for almost making her pop a blood vessel in the dairy queen parking lot. lucas: he texted lucas in front of me. basically just copy/pasted the message he was already planning to send, but he added some things.

the gist of it is: “i can’t believe i went along with this. i can’t believe i let you say that sh!t about my girlfriend, why would you even think of her that way, don’t ever talk to either of us again” then he blocked him. he blocked dean as well (not before calling him out and sending the doc link to him and deans gf (my request lmao)).

the kraken (bfs mom): they’re talking right now, she’s PISSED. she was in the room next to the one we were in so she heard most of what was said. he’s showing her the screenshots of the discord and the msgs he sent dean and lucas.

when we first got here i had to convince her to let me talk to him first 😭 she was gonna beat his ass lmao. i saw some comments briefly about it being weird that she wanted to be in the house just in case so let me explain.

bfs father was abusive. that’s the short story. the long story is that he said a lot of the things that were in the screenshots and when she would talk to him about it he would hit her. my bf has never been violent with me or anyone, mama bear was just applying her past into the present situation because she didn’t want me to go through what she did.

thanksgiving: bf said that he wanted me here for thanksgiving. he said he’d be in his room the whole time so i could spend the holiday with his mom and her friends. i said no. he should be able to spend the holiday with his family. he asked me if i’d come for his mom. i said i’ll think about it.

i think that’s everything. i don’t know how i feel right now. i’m tired and overwhelmed. i’ll be going to individual therapy as well. i’m waiting until bf and his mom get done talking so she can take me home then i’ll probably sleep for 12 hours. thank you for the support, it kept me sane. everything today happened so damn fast my head is spinning. these past like 5 hours have felt like 50

Ah, young love!